Make A Promise and Keep It

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It doesn’t have to be something big. It doesn’t have to be for someone special. It doesn’t have to be difficult also. But it has to be a commitment to somebody. Just reach out, make a promise, keep it and then enjoy the feeling after.

Making and keeping promises is the best social glue I ever encountered. There is no easier and more effective way to make friends, to reach out and to build invisible bridges between you and other people.

It also improves your self-esteem drastically. Committing to somebody else has this magic effect of growing more inner resources. It’s like what you build outside is coming back to you in an invisible way.

The more promises you make and keep, the more inner fulfillment you’ll create. 

How To Make A Promise That’s Realistic And Keep It

In my experience, people are not bad at keeping promises (except for the pathological liars, but those are accounting for less than 1% of any social circle I’ve seen). Once people make a realistic promise, the vast majority of times, they keep it. The nuance is in the “realistic” thing.

People fail to keep their promises not because they want to disappoint the others, but because of the fogginess they have when it comes to what’s realistic or not. They have a certain image about reality, they have certain expectations when it comes to reality and they act based on those assumptions. But most of the time those assumptions are based on what we usually call “wishful thinking”. Or, in other words, the hope the things will turn out to be just fine. Alas, reality doesn’t work this way.

Reality simply works. Reality doesn’t care about what we consider to be good or bad for us. It doesn’t give a shit about that. Good or bad, for reality, are equal. And here’s another thing: what’s good or bad for us changes with circumstances. What was good yesterday may not be good today, and what was bad last week may be a blessing today. Think only at the meteorological phenomena if you don’t believe me. In the middle of the winter, a hot and sunny day would be a blessing. But in the middle of the summer, another hot and sunny day will be just boring.

But we make those stories, you know. We create those expectations. We project a certain reality that we consider desirable and we ignore all the clues. Because reality works with clues. They are there, all the time, we just choose to ignore them. If there are clouds on the sky, then it’s very likely to rain. That’s a pretty solid clue. It would be absurd to make a promise about going to the beach and get a tan, under those circumstances. A much better promise would be to buy an umbrella. And yet, we still commit to the “sunny and nicey and happey day” and we promise we’re gonna bring that to those people. And we really want to, you know. We really hope it would be like this. And then it rains.

The secret of making and keeping promises is to make them realistic. The secret is to take into account everything you can and be honest. If people will push you to promise a sunny day but you see clouds coming in, well, don’t promise a sunny day. Don’t promise anything at all. Just be silent. It will be so much better for everybody.

But if you see the clouds coming in and you still promise a sunny day, then, by all means, move the earth around until the clouds are gone and bring back the sun.

16 Comments Add yours

  1. How I hate promises because most people that have ever promised me anything have in one way or the other failed to fulfil them, except for the God I serve of course.😩❤️
    Thank you for the post either way.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      When we make promises, we assume that we would beat the tides of time. That we would escape change. That our feelings for the person we made the promise to, would always be the same. If that were true, marriages would indeed have been Happily Ever After. Friendships would have lasted forever. There would have been no bankruptcies or defaults. Ever. And this world would be a much better place. Promises are made by humans. And humans change. But hey there is always hope 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh my goodness!! That’s so true😩❤️

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS says:

        Haha glad you agree again!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Kritika says:

    The more promises you make and keep, the more inner fulfillment you’ll create. I agree.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes Kritika, Keeping promises can help build trust between people. This way the other person knows you have kept their promises in the past, so they will trust you in the future”), which causes minor disruptions in the flow of the essay.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kritika says:

        Exactly. Thank you for sharing 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for thee reblog.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, Paul!! Have a great day!
        😊👍✨✨🎉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Hope you have a great day!! xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 1 person

  3. My compliments on this writing. So interesting, a whole different point of view on making and keeping promises. Really liked to read it😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Fulfilling promises to yourself to do better or be better is just as important as following through on your promises to others. When you make a promise to yourself, you are taking the time to work towards improving your life. When we work on ourselves, it gives us the ability to better take care of others.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Like

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