Shame Resilience Theory

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Shame is defined as, “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” The number one feeling contributing to disconnection is shame, the most toxic of human emotions. It is most associated with depression, anxiety, grief, eating disorders, addiction and violence.

Four elements of shame resilience :

  • Recognising shame and understanding your shame triggers.
  • Practising critical awareness of yourself, your environment, and the way things work.
  • Reaching out to others and sharing yourself and your stories.
  • Speaking shame to keep it from flying under the radar.

How to overcome shame?

Encourage yourself to consider treating yourself the way you would treat a beloved family member or friend.

  • Self compassion break – Think of a situation causing you stress or pain, acknowledge your suffering, remind yourself that suffering is a part of life, and commit to being kind, forgiving, or patient with yourself.
  • Self compassion journal – Take a few minutes to go over what happened each day, applying the principles of mindfulness, common humanity, and self kindness.
  • Taking care of the caregiver – Practice meeting your own needs and helping yourself relax and recharge.
  • The daring way – Try this new program to facilitate thee development of your shame resiliency skills and enhance your quality of life.

Hope this helps.

Reference : https://www.unf.edu/uploadedFiles/sa/recwell/Rise_Above/resilience.pdf

4 Comments Add yours

  1. gpavants says:

    Garima,

    Moving past shame and quilt is a big healthy step!

    Thanks Gary

    On Tue, Apr 27, 2021 at 10:16 AM Be Inspired..!! wrote:

    > GS posted: ” Shame is defined as, “the intensely painful feeling or > experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and > belonging.” The number one feeling contributing to disconnection is shame, > the most toxic of human emotions. It is most associ” >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      I agree Gary. Shame is among the most corrosive of human emotions, with the power to convince us that that little voice in our head is right after all—you know, the one that says “I knew you’d fail,” “You’ll never really belong,” and “Who would love you?”

      It’s both an excruciating feeling and a universal one. Rich or poor, overweight or thin, successful or struggling, we all experience shame from time to time, whether we admit it or not (and we usually don’t). Shame can shut us down or emerge in ways destructive to ourselves and others. It has been linked to addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders and bullying, so it’s crucial that we learn ways to deal with it and to build healthy barriers against it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. gpavants says:

        Plus knowing many of the things we feel guilty about aren’t ours to bear. Many times things happen out of our control. So, a certain amount of stepping back and seeing things for what they are keep the claws of guilt from sinking in.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Yes focus on the positives.

        Liked by 1 person

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