Yet, saying I’m proud of myself feels wrong, unearned, and boastful.
Why is that? There’s no way I’m the only person who can easily say I’m proud of you to a friend or colleague, but not myself. Looking in the mirror or to my boss during a check-in saying “I’m proud of myself” seems like the most difficult and unattainable task.
Then, like the universe wanted to talk to me, I saw an Instragram post about the Impostor Syndrome. This is the internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. Simply, I sit here after accomplishing so much and still feel like a phony, like I don’t belong where I am and I only got here because of dumb luck.
And wow if that isn’t me.
My entire life, I’ve struggled with self-doubt, being unable to assess my competence and skills realistically, berating my performance through self-deprecating humor, and being fearful I won’t live up to what others expect of me.
When in reality, I’m awesome. I work hard, I empathize and connect with people, I communicate well, and adapt to situations quicker than most.
I’ve been underselling myself for years by thinking that being humble is better than making others uncomfortable with my success. And maybe I still think that way. Throughout this entire post, I’ve struggled to not include some type of self-deprecating joke to soften the mood.
If you’ve ever felt this way, know you’re not alone. I’m right there with you and we’ll figure out a way to comfortably and confidently say to ourselves that we’re proud of us. I’m here to say, it’s okay to be proud of yourself, but can’t quite say it to others. That’s a battle for another day.
Thanks for reading