How to Trust Yourself

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Are you always second-guessing yourself? Maybe you shouldn’t have bought the purple shoes, maybe you should have called that guy back, maybe you should have majored in something else, took a different job, moved to a different place, the list goes on and on and on… 

Most people have made a pivotal decision in their life where they feel they have failed. The human brain tends to be more sensitive to the negatives and failures. That is why we ruminate on the bad and don’t trust ourselves. We keep a mental inventory of all the bad decisions we have made making it more difficult to trust we are making the right decisions going forward.

Studies done by psychologist Dr. John Cacioppo prove the brain reacts stronger to negative stimuli than positive. Cacioppo showed people pictures that generally produce positive feelings, for example tasty food or a luxury car. Then he showed them pictures of things that usually stir up negative feelings, such as an injured person or animal, followed by pictures of items that produce neutral feelings, like a plate or hair dryer. As the pictures were shown he recorded electrical activity in the brain and found that the brain reacted stronger to the negative stimuli, showing that our attitudes are more heavily influenced by the negative. For more on this research see: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias .

We have all made positive decisions. We have made decisions that have left us feeling satisfied, try to focus on those. You can drive yourself crazy always wondering how things would have turned out if you took a different path, but what is the use in that. You need to start to trust in yourself, trust that you have done the best you can and made the right choice for you in the moment.

8 Comments Add yours

  1. Wow, I really need to read that. I’ve always struggled with self-doubt and had to work at trusting myself. Thank you for the reminder! Sláinte Mhath!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Apologies for the typo 😔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. GS says:

        No problem at all 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    2. GS says:

      Thank you Eleanor. When we don’t trust ourselves, when we don’t respect our opinions or true desires how are we expected to learn, develop and grow? How can we feel confident and believe in ourselves if we can’t trust the thoughts swirling in our mind?

      Developing self-trust is essentially about building a better relationship with yourself. It’s showing yourself compassion, listening to yourself and giving yourself the space you need. If you don’t treat yourself particularly kindly, chances are your self-trust is off. Would you trust someone who constantly spoke down to you?

      Before you storm head-first towards the mountain you want to climb, take some time to ensure your self-trust is intact, this will be a big help on your journey.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As always, thank you for your words of wisdom. I feel blessed to have them bestowed upon me. I truly appreciate the deep and thought provoking points you made and I wholeheartedly agree. Especially, when you spoke of showing yourself compassion. That’s definitely something I need to work on. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Self compassion I believe is an everyday task..yes yesterday I found myself sulking over something which is not even true and I caught and told myself it was okay 👍🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I suppose that is why newspapers tell us unhappy stories.
    I am noticing in my old age that I actually reject stuff that 5 years ago would have been fine enough. (I mean movies I watch). Interesting, just the same. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Ah thank you for sharing that experience Sonya. Sometimes when I reject stuff from the past I get a fear of mission out but this is helpful.

      Like

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