The pain of not being heard, or betrayed, lied to or criticized are examples of experiences from our past that become sensitivities we bring into our present relationships. We become vigilant to these behaviors in others, and it takes only a hint of the original betrayal to cause a reaction.
Here are some common relationship triggers :
- Competing Priorities – It’s essential to feel not just loved but significant in the eyes of our significant others. Are you both openly communicating times you feel overlooked, and also expressing gratitude when your partner make you feel significant? Are you encouraging your partner to do the same? We often complete for focus, attention, energy and time.
- Stress Demands/Expectations – We all have expectations of our intimate partners, and they have expectations of us. Stress if anything that is seen as preventing, reducing or threatening to limit any certainty, variety, growth or contribution.
- Failure to Meet Core Timelines – Relationship crisis or stress can occur when one person believes they are not where they “must” be in their relationship, career or finances. Are you and your partner discussing critical timelines for areas that matter most?
- Physical Fluctuations – It shouldn’t be surprising that these two most important parts of our lives, our health and our relationships are inextricably linked. Lack of energy and vitality can be fatal to a relationship. How can you elevate your health to uplift your relationship? And if you’re not in one, how can you use it to create one?
- Loss/Inner Conflict – If your relationship were to end, do you now what actions you would take in response? If you’re experiencing inner conflicts that cloud your perspective on your relationship, how can you get a clear picture on exactly how things are right now?
- Language that triggers emotions and meanings from the past – People who are successful in their relationships, and in every other aspect of their lives know they should divorce their pasts and marry their futures. Are you still living in a past relationship? (Even if it’s the relationship you’re in). How can you change your language patterns and emotional responses so the past isn’t poisoning your present or your future?
Hope this helps in improving your relationships.