It takes a special kind of discipline to forgive and change how you think and feel. It is easy to view yourself, your situation, or another person in a resentful way because blaming, feeling victimized, or being taken advantage of places responsibility outside of yourself. The following are self-statements based on the belief that responsibility and fault lies outside of yourself (externally):

  • I am a victim.
  • I hate you for doing this to me.
  • You are responsible for my problems.
  • I can’t do anything about my situation.

Repeating these kinds of statements can lead you into feeling trapped. That brings up the point of how to alter this negative pattern? The easy part is realizing that these statements don’t have to dictate your feelings. The reality is they have no innate power in and of themselves. In fact, you are the source of their power. When you internalize the statements, you counteract the possibility to change.

The hard part is figuring out how to feel differently. The first thing is to realize that you cannot prevent bad things from happening to you. However, you can decide to not let the “bad things” impact you. This is where forgiveness can help in the following ways:

Acknowledge that something bad has happened
Accept that it occurred because the world is not perfect
Understand that you are in charge of how you will interpret how you feel about this event
Decide to choose to not let this negative situation dictate how you feel about yourself

Using forgiveness in this way can transform internalized negative self-perceptions into thoughts that allow a person to move forward, even in the presence of hurt, mistakes, problems, and difficulties.

In later life, some of those negative evens are unavoidable, and even predictable. The older you are, the greater the likelihood that you will acquire a chronic health condition that will impair your function and may even cause you physical pain. To think otherwise would be naïve. However, you are not required to allow circumstances to determine your sense of well-being.

If you practice cultivating a forgiving attitude you will learn to let go of resentment and self-condemnation as challenges arise. Through forgiveness, you can focus on what you are still capable of enjoying, even in the presence of serious personal difficulties.

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Enlightening and wonderful piece of reading. A good start with the thoughts shared.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Can you truly forgive without forgetting? You can still forgive someone even if reconciling is not in your best interest. … Forgiveness without forgetting means you let go of your emotions of anger and bitterness, yet you remember that your friend was untrustworthy. You may or may not decide to reconcile with that person.


  2. inspirechief says:

    Beautiful article. Releasing all the negativity through forgiveness is so freeing. Take care. Scott

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes. It’s simply an act of releasing yourself from the negative energy that you’ve chosen to hold on to. Also, forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the painful behaviors or actions of another to continue in your life. Sometimes forgiveness means letting go: You forgive that person and then you release them.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Hope you have a great day!! xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.