Reach out. Don’t be afraid. Establish new contacts. The worst thing that may happen to you is to be rejected. Well, if that’s the case, move on. The reward of having true, long-lasting friendship is worth all the potential rejection.
Most of the time, the reason for not having friends is an unconscious bad image about ourselves. We don’t reach out because we feel we don’t deserve it. Guess what: the reality obeys our thoughts and puts us outside the real life.
Isolation is not good for you. We are designed to be social animals, to exist and support existence in a larger structure. Whenever you isolate, you’re burning some bridges behind. If you keep burning them, eventually you’ll become just a lonely island.
You may decide you have enough money at some point, but you can never have enough friends.
How To Make New Friends
As I wrote the title above I couldn’t refrain myself from smiling. We, adults, are such a peculiar breed. We need advice even for the simplest of activities. Like how to make new friends.
If you carefully observe how kids behave in groups, you’ll notice something very interesting: they make friends naturally. Unless there is some serious psychological affection (which, most of the time, is induced by bad parenting) kids are making friends as easy as they breathe. “Hi, do you want to play?”. “Yes.” Or, sometimes, “No”. And that’s it.
If you continue to observe kids you’ll also realize they don’t have any heaviness. They’re “elastic”. Jumping from one kid to another, very easily. And yet, their interactions are genuine. When they talk, they talk with all their being, when they laugh, they laugh out loud and when they cry, you really notice it.
That part of a kid behavior is what we, adults, are missing. That easiness, that playfulness and openness, that feeling of trust that life, or whoever is in charge of the playground, will give us good partners. We, adults, lost that.
We lost it somewhere in the struggle of social relationships. Trying to navigate our own projections, we restrained our normal, honest approach, to a very small circle of people we trust. Our “life long friends”. And then, outside this circle, we’re autistic. At best. Or we’re just faking social interaction, just to get by. To make face.
This will drain us, in the long run. The feeling of comfort we grow from this restrained circle will eventually dry. Without replenishment, everything dies. So, instead of isolation, we should go for more and more sources of interaction.
Of course we should continue to feed our current circle of friends. But not at the cost of the newcomers. Newcomers are good. Refreshing. They give us new perspectives, they challenge us, they support us in ways we can’t really see form the beginning.
Adulthood gave us wisdom and that is priceless. But I don’t think we should sacrifice genuine interaction, an open heart and ongoing fulfilling relationships on the altar of wisdom.
If making new friends requires a little bit of dumbness every once in a while, let’s do it. Let’s be dumb. And happy.
Just like a kid.
Love this! I agree that we should all be more like kids. We have much to learn from them. I love how kids can just make friends easily. I think as we get older we start to differentiate and form social groups (think: teen cliques). But young kids… they don’t care what clothes their friends are wearing or how they talk or what they look like. They just want someone to play with. We can definitely learn a lot from kids.
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Absolutely friends. Making new friends is healthy. Increase your sense of belonging and purpose. Boost your happiness and reduce your stress. Improve your self-confidence and self-worth. Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or the death of a loved one.
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Amazing post. Loved your thoughts on making friends !! Really, one of those simple things. To connect. But astonishing how adulthood can make us forget that. If there’s one thing this pandemic has taught us, it is the power of relationships – how they empower us and nurture us. Also, particularly liked your comparison to the innocent and easy mingling of children.
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Friends bring more happiness into our lives than virtually anything else. Friendships have a huge impact on your mental health and happiness. Good friends relieve stress, provide comfort and joy, and prevent loneliness and isolation. Developing close friendships can also have a powerful impact on your physical health.
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What a great blog! I’m so happy to have found it! Hello, “new friend!”
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Hello Nadine.
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Hello! 😊
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I needed this. Thank you
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Making new friends can be intimidating, but it’s definitely rewarding. After all, friends form a big part of our life for most of us. They are the ones who walk through life together, share our ups and downs, and pains and joys. Without friends, life wouldn’t be the same at all. We wouldn’t be who we are if not for them.
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Brilliant post, dive in and simply a yes or no answer.. It is worth the try, from someone who’s experienced the ask. 😉
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Yup!! 😀
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thank you for sharing.
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Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Hope you have a great day!! xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹
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Thank you for sharing.
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Will you
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wonderful perspective, adult looking from a child’s point of view.
I feel this technique will only work when all the adults have the child’s perspective. Then they will understand the intentions in which the person is approaching for making friends else it will be weird stares and uncomfortable judgement.
This is not there in the kid’s world. There are no judgemental aspects of guilt involved when the kid approaches another kid because all of them kids.
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Seeing and understanding the world from someone else’s point of view is an important life skill. Understanding how someone else sees the world is an important life skill. Each individual experiences the world from their own unique perspective.
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