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How to Communicate Anger

We all get mad. It’s natural. And sometimes even healthy. The challenge is figuring out how to communicate effectively when you’re angry instead of totally bottling it up inside or acting like the Incredible Hulk. Here are a few unhelpful and helpful ways to communicate anger : Unhelpful Impulsively blurting out rude comments Blaming others (i.e. this…

GS
1–2 minutes
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We all get mad. It’s natural. And sometimes even healthy. The challenge is figuring out how to communicate effectively when you’re angry instead of totally bottling it up inside or acting like the Incredible Hulk.

Here are a few unhelpful and helpful ways to communicate anger :

Unhelpful

  • Impulsively blurting out rude comments
  • Blaming others (i.e. this is all your fault)
  • Playing the victim
  • Not open to finding a solution
  • Does not own mistakes (i.e. I did nothing wrong)
  • Does not respect or listen to the other person’s perspective
  • Overwhelms the other person with multiple issues (i.e. bringing up the past)
  • Yelling, screaming or swearing

Helpful

  • Pausing before responding
  • Does not blame others
  • Uses “I” statements (i.e. I feel disrespected/unheard)
  • Works on a solution together
  • Owns up to mistakes (i.e. I am sorry for disrespecting you earlier when I lost my temper)
  • Listens and acknowledges other’s perspective
  • Sticks to one topic
  • Communicates assertively but respectfully, without yelling/screaming/swearing

Reference : https://static.inspiremore.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/26104506/Mental-Health-Tips-By-Nawal-Mustafa-2.png

34 responses to “How to Communicate Anger”

  1. How to Communicate Anger – RedDragon CryptoDoubleBitcoin Investment Platform Blog

    […] How to Communicate Anger […]

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  2. How to Communicate Anger – Socialliferz'blog

    […] How to Communicate Anger […]

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  3. Carol anne

    Good post! I think anger is a hard issue for a lot of people! I know it is for me!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. GS

      Yes Carol. I think they main issue is that people are not clear of what they want. Try to ask for what you want openly and in a straightforward manner, and state your feelings clearly without directly or indirectly demeaning the other person. Speak in a normal conversational tone rather than too softly or too loudly, and don’t make demands or try to appeal to the other person’s emotions to manipulate them or force them into doing something.

      Liked by 2 people

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  4. Deskraven

    Yes! Anger is always a surface emotion meaning there is always something deeper going on underneath often involving fear, frustration, or hurt. Due to our pride, “I’m sorry” and “I’m hurt” remain some of the hardest things to utter in the English language. Communication skills are just that – skills – and require practice and repetition to master. I myself used to be a god-awful “communicator.” However, through self help and responsibility I have been able to round out my language with intention and honesty when communicating my needs and transgressions with others.

    Another important aspect of conflict is addressing the things that trigger you the moment they come up. Letting too much time pass is dangerous as passivity is the quickest road to resentment in any relationship. Above all, I believe maturity, mutual respect, and ownership are all marks of an exceptional communicator. Thank you for posting, as we can all use more reminders like this! I think Mother Teresa put it best, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”

    -Jaymie

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. surrealartpsychonaut

    I think that sharing some anecdotes which illustrate those dot points would enhance what is already an informative and interesting article.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. GS

      Anecdotes are subjective. I keep it open as everyone as their own challenges. Apologies. But thank you for your feedback. Really appreciate it.!

      Like

      Reply
  6. gpavants

    Garima,

    We Americans need this now. We have a lot of anger right now. Great advice I will be using.

    Thank you,

    Gary On Sat, Nov 28, 2020 at 10:32 AM Be Inspired..!! wrote:

    > GS posted: ” We all get mad. It’s natural. And sometimes even healthy. The > challenge is figuring out how to communicate effectively when you’re > angry instead of totally bottling it up inside or acting like the > Incredible Hulk. Here are a few unhelpful and helpful ” >

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Things are going to change with Biden, Gary. The world thinks so. Using the right amount of assertiveness can help you to communicate honestly and clearly; whereas if you’re not assertive enough you may be afraid to speak up. But if on the other hand if you’re too assertive, others may not appreciate the way you interrupt and talk over them.
      Similarly a lack of assertiveness may make you agree with other people – even if you feel they’re wrong – while those who are overly assertive are more likely to only consider their own feelings and not those of others. The trick then is to get the balance right.

      Like

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  7. Manasa Kulkarni

    Hello GS,
    It had been quite long I could not read your posts. Was stuck with work. But yes, ur every single post is awesome. Every article of yours manifest every human and will change them into a positive aspect.

    Thank you for cheering up!
    Have a great day:)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Ah Manasa, thank you for such kind words. Merci 🙏🏼
      I am glad you like my posts. If there is anything specific you would like to read, do let me know. I love to research and write on new topics.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Manasa Kulkarni

        You owe it 🙂

        Yes yes. As, I had mentioned earlier in regard to the dandruff and hair fall. It will be great pleasure if you could find out.

        One more idea I would like to give you. Your an awesome writer. Please do write about the benefits of yoga (Specific poses).

        Thank you GS
        Have a wonderful day:)
        Your a great researcher

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS

        Yoga (specific poses), hairfall, dandruff. Noted. Sorry for the missing that earlier.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Manasa Kulkarni

        No worry!
        I understand 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Jerrod Hays

    Anger especially is one passion that needs helpful ways to get through. I have one more to prompt you with.

    Do you have helpful ways to deal with insecurity? It to me feels like some combination of awkwardness, paranoia and angst. Braught on by social anxiety because I am introverted. I have tried to study myself but I cannot beat insecurity. Another reason for it is in my philosophy I want to tell truths and even brutal ones about myself. These are 2 possible causes. But I just cannot handle insecurity; (I try Stoicism but sometimes truths are too heavy.)

    Have you thought of this before — how to alleviate insecurity?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Insecurity hmm.. There is no one cause of insecurity; many factors can lead to the condition. Insecurity may stem from a traumatic event, crisis such as divorce or bankruptcy, or a loss. It can also result from one’s environment, as unpredictability or upset in daily life can cause anxiety and insecurity about ordinary, routine events.

      Insecurity is an inner feeling of being threatened and/or inadequate in some way. We’ve all felt it at one time or another. But while it’s quite normal to have feelings of self-doubt once in a while, chronic insecurity can sabotage your success in life and can be particularly damaging to your intimate relationships.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  9. Jerrod Hays

    Definitely. Big insecure change no doubt has been weighing on me while I think about my economic displacement. But you are right to say insecurity comes from feeling threatened. I feel at war my ego versus everything else. As I prepare for war at least I can say your posts are valuable. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      We’ve been having a lot of setbacks lately, and they’re terrible, but it’s vital that we keep what we’ve already accomplished so far in mind as we continue to fight. They’re a reminder of what people have already accomplished, and that we too can reach our goals.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  10. Thotaramani

    👍👌

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
    1. GS

      Glad you liked the post 👍🏼

      Like

      Reply
  11. Petrina

    Truth! Great points. Anger seems to be rampant. We all could use these reminders, so thank you. It takes discipline, humility, and mutual respect to train ourselves to respond in the healthy ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Anger — both direct and indirect (or passive) — is meant to communicate something important. But it can also drive people away. What you really want is to connect and be heard, but when anger is involved, the result is often just the opposite. Aggression in any form is the biggest impediment to emotionally intelligent communication.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  12. Jenna Breunig

    Hi, I wanted to let you know that your post has been mentioned here! https://quantumlivingpsychology.wpcomstaging.com/2020/12/22/anger/

    Differentiating between constructive and destructive ways to handle anger is great advice. When I was young, I thought anger was an emotion for bad people. I wish I had learned sooner that anger is normal and you can benefit from dealing with it in a healthy way.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Thank you for sharing. I didn’t see credits though. Could you provide my blog link?

      Like

      Reply
      1. Jenna Breunig

        Let me rephrase. Your writing hasn’t been reposted; it’s shared as a link that people can click for further reading. The link is in the second paragraph of the section “Learning to be Angry.” I thought you might like to know that your writing was mentioned!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS

        Thank you.

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Jenna Breunig

        You’re welcome!

        Liked by 2 people

  13. Lisa Lillibridge/Dakota 1966

    Your list is very helpful. I’m working on the pause button often now, especially with young adult children. They don’t need my suggestions (well, they do and their lives would be so much better). What they really needthough is a calm mum who uses her anger when it’s needed, and not being reactive and letting her emotions call the shots. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Contrary to common knowledge, anger is multi-faceted; people express it in a number of ways rather than pinning it down to either passive anger or aggressive anger. One popular view is that anger involves at least six dimensions: direction, locus, reaction, modality, impulsivity and objective.

      We become angry when we realise that we (or someone we care about) has been offended, insulted or hurt. For adolescents, they become angry as a form of response to the stresses caused by their responsibilities both at home and school.

      The real world has rich examples of what expressed anger can do. But the dangerous effects of suppressed anger has also been widely studied in the past. To start with, a range of other hostile emotions could come out as a result of internalised anger. These can include, feelings of inadequacy and failure, anxiety and depression. When people are not able to vent out their anger, it is likely to make them feel self-blame which could lead to self-harm.

      Like

      Reply
  14. Like-Minded Equals

    Recently, gone through alot of change, however, i seem to be a little angry atm, at my partner, because his language seems odd, like harsh, and i am responding a little harsher, bit like saying, no, this is enough, lets move forward, with better choices and change the old language, he seems stuck and sound like a bitch, by saying this, go figure

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. GS

      Anger is detrimental to communication in many ways. First, it makes you less logical. Anger actually affects the way your brain processes information. You’re less likely to solve problems effectively, and you’re more likely to reject explanations and solutions from others (even when they’re right.)

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Like-Minded Equals

        Beautiful answer, thank you GS

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS

        Most welcome

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Understanding Anger Part 1 – Be Inspired..!!

    […] We all want to show anger but it can be done in a constructive way. Here’s how > https://empress2inspire.blog/2020/11/29/how-to-communicate-anger/ […]

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