How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and sensispirit.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our first topic is focused on « Self Love. » Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

Comparison will create unhappiness in your life my friends.

One day I took a stroll through the woods, I was thinking about comparing myself to others and noticed in my surroundings how all trees, even in the same species, are uniquely different. These trees were all different shapes and sizes, the universe’s creations. If there was no difference between you and me we would cease to exist.

Here are ways to aid you in stopping you comparing yourself to others: 

  • Love yourself, love all parts of yourself, every single inch of your body. Get to know your body and mind through meditation and yoga. Start with five minutes.
  • You were created unique. Know that you were created by the divine to be uniquely you, embrace it.
  • Awareness. Often we do social comparisons without realizing we’re doing it. It’s a natural act, and as a result it’s something that is done without consciousness. So the solution is to become conscious — bring those thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness by being on the lookout for them. If you concentrate on these thoughts for a few days, it gets much easier with practice, and soon it’ll be hard not to notice.
  • Focus on your strengths. Instead of looking at your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them. Don’t brag, but feel good about them and work to use them to your best advantage
  • Your Social Media Feed Is Full Of Distorted Realities. The perfectly incandescently happy posts you see on social media are just a snapshot of that person’s life. But there are also many struggles that we don’t see. Social media is a distorted reality where we won’t ever really get the full picture.
  • Focus on the journey. Don’t focus on how you rank in comparison to others — life is not a competition. It’s a journey. We are a human family on a journey, to find something, to become something, to learn, to create. That journey has nothing to do with how well other people are doing, or what they have. It has everything to do with what we want to do, and where we want to go. That’s all you need to prioritize.
  • Stop yourself. Once you notice you’re doing these comparisons, give yourself a pause. Don’t berate yourself or feel bad — just acknowledge the thought, and gently change focus.
  • Count Your Life’s Blessings. A better focus is on what you do have, on what you are already blessed with. Gratitude. Look at what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be alive at all.
  • Don’t knock others downwards. Sometimes we unconsciously or consciously try to criticize others just to make ourselves look or feel better. Taking someone else down for your benefit is not conducive to your growth. It forms an enemy when you could have been forming a friend. Ultimately that hurts you as well. Instead, try to support others in their successes — that will lead to more success on your part.

“To love is to stop comparing.” – Bernard Grasset

Based on the above how are you beautifully and uniquely different? ~

38 Comments Add yours

  1. Savs says:

    Truly said, we should never compare ourselves with anyone…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Comparing ourselves to others allows them to drive our behavior. This type of comparison is between you and someone else. Sometimes it’s about something genetic, like wishing to be taller, but more often it’s about something the other person is capable of doing that we wish we could do as well.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. DiosRaw - Amber says:

      We should focus on what we have and do what we can with what we have. Comparison always leads to depression and unhappiness. When we embrace our true self and find self love we can then be our authentic self.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Savs says:

        Totally agree…

        Liked by 3 people

    3. GS says:

      Yes Savs. I know this is a very grey world. To find your personal strengths is, well, very personal. But I want to make sure I leave you with real actionable advice. So here is a super specific one for you: go on a vacation. Yeah, seriously. But it’s not a total vacation. During that time, you’re going to go back through every email, letter or note someone wrote you, talking about your accolades or failures. Read all of them. And as you read, ask yourself “Which of my skills am I consistently praised for?” And on the flipside: what do people continuously say you are bad at?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Savs says:

        You are right… 👍👍

        Liked by 1 person

  2. sundaygirl9 says:

    Our 3D world is often invalidating or can seem that way. I often get caught up in the negative and need that change in perspective. Thank you for promoting positivity.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Festinger basically said that people evaluate their opinions and abilities by comparing themselves to other people for two reasons: First, to reduce uncertainty in the areas in which they’re comparing themselves. And second, to learn how to define themselves. They can only define themselves in relation to someone else.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The trees observation was unique and eye opening. I am different and I’m proud. Thank you for the affirmation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Acknowledging my strengths gives me the confidence to overcome my weaknesses. Every day I have the talent necessary to be a great success. I recognise and honour my true talents, abilities, and skills. I respect my abilities.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. DiosRaw - Amber says:

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sandymancan says:

    When self-affirmation doesn’t come from within, the gathering storm clouds begin, taking irrational
    action when absent a plan, you dig the hole you find yourself in.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      You can’t take a romantic view on the skills that have made you successful so far in life. For example, you might have been a straight A student even though you have no passion for academics. Or you’re naturally amazing at basketball, but that isn’t what you truly want to pursue. But one way those strengths can come in handy tremendously is by using them as a blueprint to discovering talents you may not have understood before. Maybe you’ve been blinded by the overarching strength itself because you aren’t passionate about it, but list all the things that that skill requires you to do. Don’t take them for granted. There are many things that go into being good at something. Your potential doesn’t end with that one skill.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I never really did compare myself to others. However, I do struggle with knowing what my strengths are- the strengths I am aware of in my opinion are gifts.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      A quick way of knowing your strengths and if you are comfortable with it is to understand what skills do people compliment you on? Others quite likely see strengths in you that you haven’t noticed. For example, if you often receive positive feedback on your listening skills, creativity, or command of details, pay attention. It is very hard for people to comment on your work or you strengths. We are not made that way. However, if someone does compliment you, pay attention.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. CattleCapers says:

    Nice advice. It’s difficult not to compare but working on letting go and just doing the best I can—day by day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      In the theme of unbinding the heart, I have found that one of the most self-binding and defeating, hazardous habits that many of us have is the tendency to compare ourselves to others. These comparisons work on many levels: comparing our physical appearance, material possessions, personal life, romantic relationships, career and many other variations. I look at these comparisons as part of a Negative Ego, an internal measuring stick we use to judge and undermine ourselves with imagined shortcomings. These comparisons stand between us and our authentic selves. They distract us from being fully present and from engaging in life in a meaningful way. When we listen to this internal critic, we never feel we have or are enough.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. CattleCapers says:

        True. Thank you.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS says:

        Most welcome.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you !! Merry Christmas

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a pleasure to read and share your posts, My Dear! Happy Holidays!
        xoxox 😊💕🎁🌹✨

        Liked by 2 people

  8. I just love this so much…Plus this post was much needed for me at the moment. Thank you always for your purposeful work.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you. Commit yourself to gratitude. It is almost impossible to experience negative emotions when we are thankful for what we have. To stop comparing yourself to others, consider starting a gratitude journal. Take a few moments (preferably at the beginning of the day) to write down all the things you’re thankful for. Another fun idea that can involve the whole family is to create a gratitude jar. Find a jar, decorate it, and every day think of at least three things you’re grateful for. Write each down on a slip of paper and insert them into the jar. Soon, you’ll have a whole host of reasons to be grateful. When you find yourself slipping into those feelings of self-doubt, read a few notes from the jar to remind yourself about the positive things in your life.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s a great idea! I will for sure do this with my family!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Glad you liked it. Most welcome. Merry Christmas

        Like

  9. c.f. leach says:

    Great post! It took me a long time to graduate from the College of Comparison—-but once I did. Free at last!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      You are an inspiration. People often compare themselves to others to determine how well they are doing in life and base their personal value on that. However, that usually doesn’t lead to feeling too good about yourself. … If you spend all of your time comparing yourself to others, you will never have enough time to do what you really want.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. c.f. leach says:

        Very wise words.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS says:

        🙏🏼

        Liked by 1 person

  10. The Words Kraft says:

    this well-knit social fabric comprises many menopausal aunties and retired uncles who are blessed with ample free time and nothing particularly productive to do. I mean, they weren’t very spectacularly creative or gifted people during their prime tenure; not too eager to pursue unconventional dreams or think beyond the regularities. Now at their wrinkled age, it would be unfair to expect them to engage in thoughtful discussions, influence or enrich, nurture a  hobby or positively impact anyone. So what do they do? Well, a significant pastime of most regular seniors is to get overly curious, inquisitive, and nosy about the affairs of others in their family tree. 

    They love monitoring and scrutinising your professional, public, and private life. Inventing gossip elements that would be considered objectionable in most societies. 

    Does your job suck? 

    Are you underpaid? 

    Are you overpaid? 

    Should you get married? 

    Should you produce kids? 

    Should you run away with the neighbour’s daughter? 

    Should you get drunk and hump around? 

    Should you do drugs and go to jail? 

    They have a conclusive opinion on all of it. And they issue social merit cards after skilfully weighing your “achievements” against your cousins, colleagues, and neighbours.

    Anything unconventional which their wrinkled brains are unable to measure is therefore termed as “under-achievement”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ankur Mithal says:

    Indeed! Unfortunately, if you haven’t been blessed with it as a growing-up experience, you will only get it with maturity, and age.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.