Stop Judging Yourself and Others

Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and sensispirit.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our first topic is focused on « Self Love. » Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!

Learning to Stop Judging Yourself and Others 

We all judge ourselves. We don’t even realise how hard we are on ourselves. Judging oneself and others affects our mindset and thoughts to a large extent. 

Harsh judgments will poison your life. It is a vicious cycle that was learned. When we judge other people we also judge ourselves in the same way. If you have a negative perception of yourself, it is probably because someone did that to you. When we were born on planet earth we never thought anything bad about ourselves. We never judged anyone or anything. Because judging is so ingrained in all of us since childhood, it is highly unlikely that we will get over it but what we can do is become consciously aware of it, work through it and with it so that it does not hold us back or make us a mean person. 

Here are some ways in which we can start becoming aware of that little dictator who is trying to control your life inside of you and start learn to letting it go : 

  • Forgiveness – First it is important to forgive yourself. You must understand what you are feeling, doing and have learned. The quicker you accept your programming, the quicker you start healing. Look for danger signs and red flags for what you attract in your life. Being critical is a part of your history and you are drawn to what you are familiar with. So forgive yourself because you didn’t know better then. Breathe in deeply and breathe out and let go. Repeat it again till the time you feel lighter. 
  • Write It Down – Take 30 minutes to write down or just say out loud all the judgments you have for yourself. For example saying things like I am lazy, not good enough, fat, stupid, there are so many things. Also use this time to write down or say out loud all the judgements you have made for other people. Everytime you hear yourself saying something negative or judgments about anything, take a note to reflect on it later. This list should be lengthy, so don’t shy away. Write down even positive judgements. You will start to see some patterns on why you make judgements. 
  • Allowance – Allow yourself to feel the judgment that you are having because it is a human thing. Just like negative thinking we have to break the cycle pattern of judgement. When we judge ourselves and we are not aware of it, we act out of it like we will have a tantrum. Now as we are learning to be aware of our judgement, we then allow it to not let us control ourselves. By feeling it emotionally and physically we can then ask ourselves if we want to hold on or let go of this judgment. Do what feels right for no, no pressure..or no judge…oops!
  • De-construct Judgement – If someone has judged you or you have judged someone hard and that has affected you a lot, remember it’s just an opinion, it is not an end all. Know that when someone is judging you, it speaks more about how they judge themselves than how they are judging you. Judgement is a way to control lives either ours or others. Everyone is chasing a self made ideal. People have rigid expectations. Get over it, let that go. You are enough. Pray for the person to be well and send some healing vibes to them. 

Recognising self judgement is one thing but letting it go is a much harder task, I understand that. I am barely even trying to do that myself. So just again think of letting go as pre-emptive forgiveness of self and others. Instead of suppressing negative emotions and fester, let it go. 

67 Comments Add yours

  1. asthaisha says:

    Great read 🌼🙌

    Liked by 5 people

    1. GS says:

      Glad you like the post.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. DiosRaw says:

      Good to hear. 🙏

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Very helpful post 😇

    Liked by 4 people

    1. GS says:

      Judgment and fear have a tendency to hold you back from living a rich and meaningful life that is based on your true values and establishing harmony in relationships. There is often a high price to pay for living in a mental and emotional place of judgment and fear. This price may take the form of avoiding relationships with others, challenging mental or physical pursuits, and even discovering your true identity. In many ways, judgment and fear can function as self-protective defense mechanisms that keep the conscious mind from discovering truths that the self believes to be painful or unbearable. No matter what lies within one’s core identity, it is often the suppression or repression of self-knowledge that ultimately results in greater suffering.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. DiosRaw says:

      Liked by 3 people

  3. Lokesh Sastya says:

    Nice to hear from you. I like the blog. It is more about clearance and having open mindset. Good luck !

    Liked by 6 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Lokesh. I am glad you like the content

      Liked by 3 people

  4. Dragthepen says:

    Great advice 👍

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Notice your judgments, label them as judgements and let them pass. Simply practicing letting judgments pass without acting on them or believing them will lessen the power they have over your mood and behavior. With time, you will be able to smile, say “That’s a judgment,” and go on with your day.

      Liked by 4 people

  5. Forgiveness to self is very important
    It took me time to stop being hard in myself and am glad I did

    Liked by 4 people

    1. GS says:

      Making peace and moving forward is often easier said than done. Being able to forgive yourself requires empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding. It also requires you to accept that forgiveness is a choice.

      Whether you’re trying to work through a minor mistake or one that impacts all areas of your life, the steps you need to take in order to forgive yourself will look and feel the same.

      But we still got to keep at it, keep forgiving ourselves.

      Liked by 5 people

      1. True to that
        Thank you so much

        Liked by 4 people

      2. GS says:

        Glad you agree

        Like

    2. DiosRaw says:

      Forgiveness happens over a period of time that sometimes feels as if it will never come.. but it does eventually.. Time is one of the greatest healers.

      Liked by 4 people

  6. bosssybabe says:

    Forgiveness is a big one. And forgiving oneself is often overlooked. Great words!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. GS says:

      Forgive yourself. Not just once. Again, and again, and again. As many times as it takes to find peace. – Unknown

      Liked by 3 people

    2. DiosRaw says:

      It is often overlooked, if we forgive ourselves, we can then forgive others from a wholesome place.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. juliearahm says:

    Forgiveness of self has been a challenge for me. I’ve learned a lot and have grown to love myself more unconditionally over the past two years. Falling in love with oneself and loving every part and piece of who you are is the greatest gift you can give yourself ❤️

    Liked by 5 people

    1. GS says:

      An attempt to control life: We try to control our behavior and feelings through a set of rigid expectations. We chase a self-made ideal, and when we don’t live up to it, we judge ourselves. If we truly dig into all of self-judgment we’ll find an adolescent dictator telling us how to behave—completely driven by emotion.

      Liked by 4 people

    2. DiosRaw says:

      It is indeed one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Self-love is a wondrous thing. 🙏

      Liked by 4 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Like

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always happy to read and share with followers, My Dear! Hope you have a great day!!
        xoxox 😘💕😊🌹✨✨

        Liked by 2 people

    2. DiosRaw says:

      Thank you for sharing so many posts of our joint effort. 🙏

      Liked by 1 person

  8. meechypluto says:

    We think alike

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      🙌🏼🙌🏼

      Like

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Like

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing.

      Like

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Like

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

  9. RADEON says:

    Best Advice we took from this blog thanks

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you. I am glad you liked the post.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. nfa7 says:

    You know this is such an important topic! No matter how hard we try, we find ourselves judging others and being judged. And for people like me, who are a bit more sensitive, the opinion and behavior of others affect us a lot..and so when they judge us, it feels unfair to be judged without saying our piece and its hard to let go..that is why awareness is so important, so that people including ourselves recognize that judging and passing judgement hurts and no one should do that to the other..lets all be kind to each other, and be compassionate, understanding, and just simply agree to disagree politely on an issue, without being rude.. 🙂 Thank u for creating this post!! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung. These words resonate with me so much. One of the most common thing in a guided meditation is the act of observation. They tell you to stop judging and instead observe the thoughts and let them go. When you take the time to practice your observation skill, you take it to your life and use it when you need it the most. Even after you practice your observation skill, you can’t avoid judgment. It’s part of your thinking system.
      A deeper level of observation is observing your judgments without judgment.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. nfa7 says:

        So beautifully expressed!! That is such a mature way of looking at it..thank you for providing me with that perspective..we need to observe ourselves judging, be aware that we are doing it and try to work towards avoiding it..it wont ever be 100% like you said, but atleast by reducing it we make this world a little kinder 🙂🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS says:

        Glad I could help. Good luck 👍🏼

        Liked by 2 people

      3. nfa7 says:

        Thank you and you too!!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Beautifully written

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you. Glad you liked the post.

      It’s important to stop negatively judging yourself to increase self-esteem. Many people are afraid of being judged negatively by others, however, they overlook the negative judgement coming from themselves. Negative self-judgement is damaging emotionally and it leads to all sorts of problems. As well as damaging your self-esteem it can be associated with anxiety or depression. It may prevent you from doing things you want, and it can isolate you from people. However, you can lead a more fulfilling life and increase your self-esteem when you stop judging yourself negatively.

      Liked by 2 people

  12. the greatvincent says:

    Couldn’t agree more.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. shagun garg says:

    Liked the blog very much👌👌great advice

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Shagun

      Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

  14. oasiheneee says:

    We always tend to judge yourself and we need to stop judging ourselves so much too. I also post about similar stuff on my blog as well & if you’re interested, feel free to follow! But love this post & keep up the great work

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Krish chobe says:

    Plz seems blog

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Feel free to reblog

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Rupa Rao says:

    Awareness, acknowledgement is the 1st step of the 1000 mile journey. Forgiveness is a process. Time heals provided what one does with time is to heal.
    Well put together.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      You’ll learn in life that forgiveness means letting go and at the same time not accepting whoever hurt you – but it is more for yourself. … Be the better person – forgiveness encourages the other person to do the same next time someone hurts them – continue positivity in yourself and others.

      Like

  17. HensBlooms says:

    Great post with great lessons!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Hens. What you say about those around you is really just a reflection of how you feel about yourself and the life you are living.
      If you are somebody who constantly judges others, it’s probably because you are being judged and are trying to feel better about yourself and trying to improve self-esteem.
      If you judge somebody based on their failures, it’s probably because you haven’t taken enough risk and don’t realize that failing is the only way to truly grow.
      If you judge somebody based on the success that they have achieved over the course of their life, it’s probably because you are envious of the fact that you haven’t yet achieved that same level of success.
      Either way, you only judge somebody in an effort to make yourself feel better about your life and your current circumstances.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. And so it is! We all need to hear this. I remember when I first heard, “if you spot it, you got it.” I couldn’t bare to think I had what I was judging but now I’m able to see it clearly. Oh we would all be so much better off if we let go of the judgment. Thanks for this reminder 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      You have the choice to begin to release negativity at any moment. While these strategies may be “simple,” they are not always “easy.” If you notice that the benefits of releasing judgment and fear outweigh the costs of holding on, the decision to make authentic changes will become easier and easier.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. kakku says:

    liked how you discussed judgement.If self is harsh, we can change, but if others are those, give them up. Since it is difficult to change them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes we should work on ourselves on priority. Self-judgment results from thoughts individuals have about themselves and the meanings attached to those thoughts. The thoughts, hence, produce related feelings such as anxiety, anger, and depression. Judgments (The process of forming an opinion, or reaching a conclusion based on the available material.)

      Like

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