Understanding Shame Part 2

We have all felt shame at one time or another. Maybe we were teased for mispronouncing a common word or for how we looked in a bathing suit, or perhaps a loved one witnessed us telling a lie. Shame is the uncomfortable sensation we feel in the pit of our stomach when it seems we have no safe haven from the judging gaze of others. We feel small and bad about ourselves and wish we could vanish. Although shame is a universal emotion, how it affects mental health and behavior is not self-evident. 

In this post we will try to uncover some common interpretations of events that prompt feelings of shame :

  • Believing that others will reject you (or have rejected you).
  • Judging yourself to be inferior, not “good enough” not as good as others; self invalidation.
  • Comparing yourself to others and thinking that you are a “loser”.
  • Believing yourself unlovable.
  • Thinking that you are bad, immoral, or wrong.
  • Thinking that you are defective.
  • Thinking that you are a bad person or a failure.
  • Believing your body (or a body part) is too big, too small, or ugly.
  • Thinking that you have not lived up to others expectations of you.
  • Thinking that your behaviour, thoughts, or feelings are silly or stupid.

Take a breath here, pause. Read these positive affirmations before you go forward > https://empress2inspire.blog/2021/01/22/daily-dose-of-affirmation-274/

Did you know your body shows symptoms of shame as well? Here are some biological changes and experiences of shame :

  • Pain in the pit of the stomach.
  • Sense of dread.
  • Wanting to shrink down and/or disappear
  • Wanting to hide or cover your face and body.

Shame is the uncomfortable sensation we feel in the pit of our stomach when it seems we have no safe haven from the judging gaze of others. We feel small and bad about ourselves and wish we could vanish. Although shame is a universal emotion, how it affects mental health and behaviour is not self-evident. Have you been experiencing any of these symptoms.

Reference : https://i.pinimg.com/originals/53/96/36/539636b6d9efe2fe24daee861cdbfc1c.jpg

19 Comments Add yours

    1. GS says:

      None. There are no advantages to shaming. It should never be used for any reason.

      How well does it work on you?

      If you make a mistake at work, does your boss automatically call you names and try to shame you? Not if they are a decent business person.

      Shame is not a constructive emotion. Feeling like you didn’t do something right or feeling bad about something you’ve done wrong, is normal. That’s often what compels you to change.

      Shame isn’t about something you do. It’s about who you are. Making someone hate who they are will never get them to behave in a way that’s beneficial to them or anyone else.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Angie says:

    I like where you are going with this. good stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Angie. Shame is the uncomfortable sensation we feel in the pit of our stomach when it seems we have no safe haven from the judging gaze of others. We feel small and bad about ourselves and wish we could vanish. Although shame is a universal emotion, how it affects mental health and behavior is not self-evident.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a pleasure to share your posts with followers, Dear! Hope you are having a great day!
        xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Like

  2. Singhshma says:

    I’m a dark skinned female in a leadership position within a predominantly white male dominated industry. A luxury industry very shallow annoying and extremely critical. I’ve been eating seemingly non-stop since around Christmas like these 2 am pasta runs I’m doing now… yes I have parts of me I try to hide…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Maybe now you know where you got to stop. You are beautiful the way you are. I face the same challenges like you. I get conscious too but I have developed “I don’t care what you think of me” attitude

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Singhshma says:

        🤔 Hmm when I think with my reasonable grounded brain and not my unreasonable OMG the sky is falling Chicken Little brain, I realize that I really don’t care. it’s these moments when I’m alone in the dark, when I think like this. But I really don’t care, otherwise I wouldn’t be where I am not who I am. I’m absolutely beautiful and shame does not control me

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Don’t be scared, embrace those moment. Sometimes when we have been the depth of despair and low self esteem for too long, a glimmer of empowerment is scary. Meditate on those moments. Remind yourself that you are worthy of feeling and experiencing all good feelings.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Singhshma says:

        💕🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Singhshma says:

        How beautiful to have support and resources around me to remind me lies are lies. Thank you for your blog

        Liked by 1 person

      5. GS says:

        Most welcome Shma.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. the greatvincent says:

    Well…I always looked at it the wrong way I thought that it was part of growing up.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      It isn’t

      Like

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