Daily Dose of Living

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One of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag. Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people — I think it’s either a built-in method all humans have, or something we develop because of built-in methods. We all judge people, and I’m not an exception. But I’ve gotten better at noticing when it happens. And recognizing that it’s a sign of something harmful.

How to Let Go of Judging

First be aware that you’re doing it, and see it as a red flag. It’s not horrible to judge, but it’s a good sign that other things are going on that are harming you and others. This takes practice. But there are symptoms that tell you you’re judging — if you feel angry or frustrated or dismissive of someone. If you’re complaining about someone, or gossiping about them. These are signs you’re judging. Recognize what’s going on. After you notice the red flag, pause and be curious. Don’t get mad at yourself, but be curious:

  • Why are you judging?
  • What expectations do you have that are unrealistic?
  • What can you guess about what the other person is really going through?
  • Can you find out more? (This isn’t always realistic but sometimes you can.)
  • What about the other person can you appreciate?
  • Can you get out of your self-centeredness and put yourself in the other person’s shoes?
  • Can you imagine a time when you were going through something similar?

Once you’ve done that, ask yourself: How can you help? What does this person need? Sometimes they just need someone to listen, someone to be a friend, someone to not judge, someone to accept them. Sometimes they need more — advice, a guide, a hug.

But you can’t help them from a place of judgment. Only when you let go of the judgment that has arisen, and come to a place of acceptance and curiosity and empathy, can you really help. And incidentally, you’ll be a lot happier in the process.

Hope this helps. Come back tomorrow for more inspiration.

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Lyn says:

    Thank you so much for your very insightful article and practical tips ! A great reminder on starting with self awareness to immediately address any negative thoughts or judgement. It is a life long practise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes indeed Lyn. It will help us a long way physically, mentally and socially.

      Like

  2. DiosRaw says:

    🖤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you !!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for the reblog.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Have a great day!!
        xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Thank you. You have a great day too.

        Like

  3. capost2k says:

    “Judge not, that you be not judged,” is arguably the MOST quoted scripture verse in the world, though very few know that it is in Matthew 7 (7:1 to be exact). This is part of what is often referred to as The Sermon on the Mount, a collection of Jesus’ teachings from one of his closest associates.
    But in the context, Jesus goes on to say, ““Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs.” (7:6) Not so well known because this involves making judgments.
    In fact, the “judge not” instruction never condemns judging, but rather warns the “judge” to be careful because whatever measure he uses on others, will be used on him (Matthew 7:2 – immediately after the first stage of the warning).
    So how can I help? What does this person need? EXCELLENT questions which gives the judge the perspective to be more than an executioner, but make judgements intended to aid, not destroy. I sincerely hope this is helpful and provides perspective for you, of which I believe you need some assistance. I am no genius with all the answers; my source is the Bible and if I say anything contrary to its teaching, it would be a great service if you would challenge me to read it more carefully and understand it better.
    You can only help someone if you have judged that they need it and that you have something better to offer. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      As verbs the difference between condemn and judge is that condemn is to confer some sort of eternal divine punishment upon while judge is to sit in judgment on; to pass sentence on. (Romans 1:17) So, in Christ, our sins have been forgiven and there is no condemnation. Think of a plane ticket that has been placed in a book for safekeeping. As long as the ticket is in the book, whatever happens to the book also happens to the ticket. Christ is the book, and the sinner saved by grace is the ticket.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. lockalcordo says:

    This skill takes practice… and a mirror 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Hahaha yes!!!! 😀

      Like

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