When a relationship hits a rough patch, it can be easy to think pessimistically. Thinking optimistically isn’t about rainbows and unicorns, rather, it’s about being realistic. Optimistic thinkers are able to identify solutions that haven’t yet been tried. In addition, optimistic thinkers zero in on what they can control, influence or leverage.
Here are seven hallmarks of resilience in relationships:
- CARE rather than confront during tough conversations.
C – Communicate the facts
A – Address your concerns in an objective way
R – Reach out and ask the other person for his/ her perspective
E – Evaluate outcomes
- Find your “I want” power.
Tap into your “I want” power – “It’s the ability to find your motivation for an important long term goal when your willpower reserves are running low.
- Connect during daily transition points.
A kiss, hug, smile, or touch when waking up, leaving for the day, coming back together at the end of the day, and going to sleep.
- Help each other relive good news.
How you respond to the good news is as important for the health of your relationship as how you respond to bad news.
- Reframe your thinking during tough times.
Identify solutions that haven’t yet been tried (instead of trying the same things over and over again that isn’t working).
- Have hope.
The three elements of hope include having goals, feeling empowered to shape your daily life, and identifying multiple avenues toward making your goals happen.
- Practice empathy.
The ability to understand another person’s experiences and emotions is a hallmark of resilience.
One of my favorite quotes is, “One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.” There are many reasons to both stay in, and leave, a relationship. Choosing to stay requires resilience, and hopefully one of these seven strategies makes a difference in your relationship.