Introvert

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Yes, I’m an introvert. No, I’m not shy. No, I’m not stuck up. No, I’m not antisocial. I’m just listening. I’m observing. I can’t stand small talk, but I’ll talk about life for hours. I’d rather be home with a close friend or two that among a big crowd of acquaintances. Don’t scold me in public. Don’t embarrass me in public. Respect that I’m reserved. If I open myself up to you, know that means you’re very special to me. If you think I’m quiet it might be because your energy is so LOUD that it overwhelmed me. I am rarely bored alone. I am often bored in groups and crowds. Just because I am not talking doesn’t mean I’m in a bad mood. Sometimes I just like being quiet. I’m a strong independent introvert who don’t need social life. An introverts desire for solitude is more than just a preference. It is crucial to our health and happiness. Introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly. Your introversion is a gift that doesn’t need to be cured or fixed. I may look like I’m not doing anything, but I’m quite busy problem-solving, being creative, or just thinking in my head with about 30 tabs open. Introverts gain energy from being alone while extroverts gain energy from being around others. Don’t underestimate me because I’m quiet, I know more than I say, think more than I speak and observe more than you know. The problem with being introverted is that there is no polite way of saying “I love you but I’m tired of being with you right now”. Sometimes I need to go off on my own. I’m not sad. I’m not angry, I’m recharging my batteries. Silence is only frightening to people who are compulsively verbalising. My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “Hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away. Quiet people have the loudest minds. Sometimes I shut down and don’t talk to anyone for days. It’s nothing personal. I do not mean I have nothing planned. I mean that I plan to do nothing. A lot of people think being introverted is a bit weird, I think it’s weird that others can’t enjoy their own company without the distractions of other people.

Introverts unite separately in your own home please. Social distancing is a blessing.

94 responses to “Introvert”

    • Introverts are focused and persistent. If you’ve got a problem that needs solving, trust it to an introvert. Our favorite way to work is independently and, once we’re on a problem, we don’t give up easily. We are less distracted by new opportunities and possibilities. We can invest the time and energy required.

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    • That’s great Gelin. You’re able to provide balance. In the case of group settings, ambiverts can provide a much-needed balance to the social dynamic. An ambivert might be the one to help break an awkward silence, making others who are more introverted feel comfortable starting a conversation.

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  1. Very well said! I agree with pretty much everything you said right here. I too can be extroverted with those close to me, which happen to be other introverts. People tend to have many misconceptions about introverts. I don’t know what it is but I really can’t stand when introversion is seen as something that needs to be “fixed.” You addressed it perfectly!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Introversion and extroversion aren’t categorical, they are on a continuum. People become much, much more introverted with age too. They find people draining and uninteresting, whereas when young, it seemed like they are intrigued by just about everyone. People might actually sigh in relief and embrace their new self.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Introverts are people who get their energy from spending time alone. It’s kind of like a battery they recharge. And then they can go out into the world and connect really beautifully with people.

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    • It is a matter of perspective, or choice. Shyness is not a bad thing; many ‘shy’ people are very sensitive, and for good reasons, they stay away from many unpleasant careless people.

      In Peace

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  2. Wow…I felt like you were describing me. Many times people who don’t know me very well think that something is wrong with me when am quiet.
    On the contrary I love silence…I can stay in my house without talking to anyone for days.
    However, most extroverts don’t understand introverts. They think we’re proud and think ourselves better than others.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Science is continually proving that assumption false, and Harvard Business Review research has shown that introverts are more effective leaders in complex and unpredictable settings. In fact, introverts are uniquely suited to navigate situations that extroverts can’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I recommend you read Søren Kierkegaard’s book that i’m currently reading, called The Lily of the field and the Bird of the air. He deeply analyses the famous biblical sermon on the Mount. He takes you through 3 discourses in which a Lily and a bird are the teachers.
    The first thing to learn from them is silence. As humans what places us above the rest of the animals in the kingdom is our ability to talk and we are damn good at it. That’s why there is an art in silence for us.
    So yes! There is no reason to be ashamed, just look at the flowers and the birds!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Garima,

    Yes, we don’t always get people who like alone time. It’s a character trait to be a little more to yourself. Being alone for me is a little unnerving. There is a time and a place to recharge for different people. Hope when you do socialize it will be a great connection.

    Thanks, Gary

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m a retired librarian and confirmed introvert. I enjoyed your post. Here’s an offering from a group I follow that you might like:
    “Books: Helping introverts avoid conversation since 1454!” My addition to this: And we’re very happy with this!
    Kel

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I apologize if this is a repeat. WP is behaving rudely but also possible user-error.
    I’m a retired librarian and lifelong introvert. Here’s a line from a group I follow called AWESOME LIBRARIANS.
    Books: Helping Introverts Avoid Conversation Since 1454!
    My comment on this: And we are very happy with this!
    I enjoy your posts.
    Kel

    Like

  7. Love this! My hubby is an introvert, and I can relate to this on so many levels. I fluctuate between extro and intro – so, for me the far intro was foreign to me. Thank you for enlightening me to your thoughts!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thanks for this. It says so much about how I feel a lot, but not all of the time. At the same time as being quite strongly introvert, I like performing, and having an audience. I’ll talk to strangers in supermarket queues to get an interesting.conversation going. The focus is on the hope to engage with people on more than a superficial level. Even so most of what you describe is me exactly.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Most welcome. Introverts can be fantastic leaders when given the chance. They don’t seize power but rather start quietly leading those around them through mentorship, encouragement, wisdom, and inspiration. Introverts value others’ perspectives. They keep their egos in check, and they don’t take risks without thinking them through.

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  9. I could definitely identify with this and especially how people think it’s so strange that we enjoy our solitude to the degree that we do. I loved your:
    “I love you but I’m tired of being with you right now”.
    “My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “Hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.”
    Brilliant!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Brilliant wording:
    “I love you but I’m tired of being with you right now”.
    “My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “Hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.”

    We are not understood but I think it’s sadder that so many people are uncomfortable with their own internal dialogue!

    Liked by 1 person

    • While introverts are generally likely to report lower levels of happiness than extroverts, this does not mean that introverts are unhappy. Ultimately, it’s important to note the happiness benefits of both introverted and extroverted behavior, no matter where you fall on the spectrum.

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  11. A word needs to be coined for introverts who aren’t exactly tired by tired of company. I feel drained is close to the right idea. As an introvert married to an extrovert, I can say I so need quiet time. He’s even mentioned that I need more quiet than most people. Even though, he doesn’t always grant it, it’s nice to know he’s aware. And yes, we’re more than just people with a need for alone time. I loved this line: “I’m quite busy problem-solving, being creative, or just thinking in my head with about 30 tabs open.” How often I’ve mulled over ideas in my head only to express them and have others say, “Whoa. That comes out of left field.” Are they surprised that I have good ideas?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Introverts have attractive qualities because they’re active listeners. They speak less and listen more, which gets people interested in them. What makes introverts attractive is their ability to observe beyond the words people speak.

      Liked by 1 person

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