There are going to be days where you wake up and your bones are full of light. There are going to be days where it feels like your heart has finally settles into its new form, has finally mended the wounds. There are going to be days where you leap towards something you would have run from in the past. And those moments will be so gratifying, it will all feel beautiful and hopeful.
But then there will also be days where you take five steps backwards. Where the sound is scratched, where the hurt resurfaces. Where you hear a song and your chest tightens. Where you see them in public and your heart starts to ache. Where the memories surprise you in the middle of your day. And that can be deeply jarring, it can be hard to sit with, it can be disorienting. It can make you question your healing.
But the truth is, healing happens in waves. It is a process. You peel back the layers. You move forward. You find new rooms within your healing, within your heart, that you are scared to go into, and you learn how to face those obstacles, you learn how to open the door. Healing is a lifelong memory. But slowly, we learn how to control the way the memory affects us. Slowly, we learn how to approach the hard days, we learn how to not let them convince us that this season of learning has been for nothing. We let those emotions pass through us like rain. We learn how to believe in the foundation we have built within our healing, how to remind ourselves just how far we have come, how to have compassion for ourselves, how to keep believing in our growth, even when we cannot feel it.