Emotional Healing

Anxiety isn’t crying all the time alone in your room. It’s being alone silently wishing you had more tears to cry. Wondering why me? Why am I so broken? Why does no one see I’m suffering? It’s drowning in myself. It’s getting lost in all my cracks and flaws as I look in the mirror. It’s overwhelming fear when there isn’t a thing to fear. It’s being nervous and feeling your heart speed up as you enter a room. It’s feeling pressure in your chest as you walk out the door. It’s the fear you get on Sunday nights knowing when you wake up they’ll be school. It’s knowing when you wake up they’ll be school. It’s knowing no matter how many times you try to explain it, no one really gets it. It’s feeling so alone you shut your self off from everyone. It’s wanting to scream but not being able to even whisper a word. It’s being up all night being afraid of tomorrow and all the unknown. It’s being so broken you become numb. It’s making yourself physically sick. It’s panic attacks in public that you can’t control. It’s feeling nauseous just thinking about it. It’s not being hungry. It’s being exhausted all the time. It’s shaking but not being cold. It’s all of the above and so much more. It’s part of me. It’s consuming me.

48 responses to “Anxiety”

  1. Thank you for being so open and explaining this complicated condition. Anxiety can be a vicious cycle when we get caught up in it. My dad wrote a short book about anxiety and the causes and cure. Anxiety runs in our family so he, being a highly intelligent person, studied it until he figured it out. The panic attacks are the worst. I know that feeling of feeling a threat and thinking I was going to die, and not being able to figure out why, because nothing outside of me seemed to be the cause. The good news (if there is any good news about anxiety) is that you usually only get it if you are intelligent. Our brains are searching for answers, and dumping chemicals when we can’t figure it out. The more we try to fix it, the more chemicals being dumped, causing more anxiety. The short solution of it is to “give into it.” One time I pulled my car over into a parking lot, grabbed the steering wheel, and said, “okay, Anxiety. Just come and take me! I give in.” The panic attack subsided, and I went on about my day. Once I understood more about what was happening internally, I stopped fighting it, and I haven’t had any more panic attacks. — Just thought I’d share this information. I was grateful for my dad and him helping me through anxiety. I’m not trying to sell his book, but it’s only $3.99 and here’s the link if anyone wants it:

    Liked by 2 people

  2. First, I hear you. I thought that I would share


    There are those days
    It feels hard to breathe
    Some are worse than others
    It is like living in a dream
    Not the kind with fairies
    But with nightmarish schemes

    They come from nowhere
    Like rain on a summer day
    Out of the darkness
    Where words are hard to say
    So it’s easier not to speak
    Where everything is so heavy

    How hard can it be
    To verbalize the pain
    Of wanting to be free
    Yet waking up again
    Caught in a space
    Somewhere inbetween

    This is the anxiety
    That is called depression
    Where the beating of your heart
    Comes in quick secession
    No one ever wants this
    Or the feeling of being a burden

    The suffering hearts
    Are so often near
    But even more unnoticed
    By so many who are unaware
    Until they stand on a ledge
    Screaming to disappear

    Words must be spoken
    For a chance of being heard
    Since we can’t read minds
    We have to use the words
    With a pen and paper
    I find my cure

    In a world lost
    I am not hopeless
    Silence is so lonely
    But we have choices
    As muffled as they are
    God gave us voices.
    Katherine Spitzer 4/28/18
    Kat’s Gems

    #poetry #life #depression #hope

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mat, I don’t know if you agree, I anxiety has the most power when it can keep torturing us to stay silent.
      If we can’t speak of it or write about it then it can keep the upper hand.
      Many many years ago, thankfully, I had so much anxiety that I literally couldn’t my house alone. Anywhere there were a lot of people I would throw up. It was years of using all of the power in mind to fight back. Making out on my front porch and grabbing onto each little victory.
      I don’t know why, but I wanted to share that with you. @GS YOU are courageous!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for sharing, mygeminiandi. I believe – I almost know – that you are right. When we put anxiety into kind words and actions, it evaporates. Enjoy each of your victories.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I drop down into my body and feel where the sensation of anxiety sits and I breathe and give it a little space around it just to be there, and I sometimes put my hand on my chest x

    Liked by 1 person

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