This Post May Hurt

You want to hear how it will be better tomorrow and you can do better? Then don’t read this.

I am up at 2 in the morning tossing and turning, finally grabbing my journal and writing this truth about heartbreaks even after many years of relationship being over. It is going to hurt, the truth. So if you don’t want to hear it stop reading. The truth is that it takes a a whole lot of time to recover from a heartbreak, and that sort of pain can consume you. But I promise (now that I am on the other side of pain) that you will get better and yeah you will find and marry a person who will never hurt you intentionally or try to show their dominion over you for ego sakes.

But you won’t find this better feeling for years because in your small young nascent minds no one beats our first love. No one beats the person you share yourself with and time time won’t change the fact that you will always care about them. Because time can’t say anything when two souls connect. I’m not going to lie and say it won’t hurt. It does. But what you have to do is get over him before he moves on, because nothing is stopping him now. You don’t have to move on to another man just to move in from him. Stop thinking about the good things, and remember when he made you cry. Multiple time, didn’t he? When he made you feel worthless? When he left and came as he pleased? NO NO NO that’s not fucking right and men can’t do that to someone!!!!

Love is like a disease, it grows and grows until it kills you. The hardest truth ever, it hurts so much fucking more when you see him holding her hand saying what he said to you so move on. It’s not easy but the earlier you try start the better. I’m not saying you will forget him because he mails you, so block him and pick yourself back up because you put so much into it to become happy again. Even when you’re laughing, having a good time you know, straight after, he will be there sitting in your mind like he belongs there but you know what…it’s evacuating time FUCKER! Kick him out!

Over my past loves the first took 9 months and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I am still in LOVE. Like I said it will take time but now it’s bearable. Because I can tell myself I’m over him. I can start to believe it and it helps. I feel it’s working. Not to say though when you hear his name, a spark will still go off in your head but it won’t be enough to mean anything and eventually when you see him with her, that hurt you feel won’t be the sight of them together, it will be the fact that he may put her through the exact same thing and she will have to face it alone. Maybe she will choose to stay, maybe that’s her karma and her destiny, but it’s not yours and that’s why YOU are not in her place.

You have to – not calling it easy – get over him. Don’t let him win by holding you on a lead thinking he can come back. He can’t. You have to be strong for yourself and over time you will realise what a heartless tool he is because no one should ever hurt someone like that while they sit there remorseless because man isn’t that human. You act like everything is okay so no one worries about you but you really need help and it’s okay to ask for help. The worst thing to do from my experience if try to fight it by yourself because then you get more hurt. You need help no one can fight such pain alone.

You’re a beautiful amazing soul and no one deserves to feel that way. Ever. The last thing is no matter the pain, hurt, anger, relapses and time it takes, one day you will wake up besides the man that actually cares, that makes you feel important, doesn’t fuck with your mind, helps you, knows you and most of all he is “different” from your ex you always wanted and you will feel such happiness..that is unreal and you won’t even remember the immature little mind game playing man that’s in your head right now.

I love you. Love yourself please.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Shelley Berry says:

    We love you too. And you are so right! We cannot love others if we don’t care for ourself.

    Liked by 2 people

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