Neuroscience shows that negative stimuli elicit larger responses in the brain than positive ones, explaining why we tend to dwell more on negative events. We call this negativity bias, and it holds true even when negative and positive events are of the same magnitude, meaning we feel negative events more intensely.

The psychology of loss aversion shows us that our losses are 2.5x more powerful than our gains. So if you receive a negative comment on your posts, but received two complimentary ones, you will most likely go to bed thinking about the negative one.

Acknowledging our brains negativity bias is already a great step into understanding why we dwell on these events, so we can work on how to not do this going forward.

Provided that you are not in a direct fight or flight state (high adrenaline), focusing on the positive can shift your mindset, which will eventually lead to you being less affected by the negative events over time. But ruminating and swelling on the negative will strengthen the neural pathway for negative thinking and worrying.

If you are in direct fight or flight, you’ll need to slow down your heart rate before you can shift your mindset. It is impossible to talk yourself out of a negative situation when your adrenaline is high, its like trying to be happy when you’re being chased by a lion. Top down regulation (trying to control your body with your mind) does not work, and regulating your nervous system through neatowork is the quickest way to blunt your arousal state.