There are 3 things you can only heal within the relationship with a partner.
- A big part of your avoidant attachment style. It is true that the first part of healing an avoidant attachment style is to stop avoiding to release your trapped emotions and your inner child. Yet, when this is on going, the most powerful healing moments to heal this avoidant style is to open up to a safe partner when you feel scared to speak your truth. As an avoidant attachment style which is mainly born from the rejection, the invalidation, the emotional or physical from a caregiver, magic happens when your partner can do what your caregiver couldn’t : validating your experience, instead of crushing it.
- A big part of your anxious attachment style. This actually doesn’t happen when you are in a relationship, but right after a break up. For someone with an anxious attachment style, the main fear is a fear of loss. They are caught in the illusion of the possibility of “losing their partner” because they unconsciously believe they wouldn’t survive without an external source of love. A breakup gives them an opportunity to find real safety by themselves from overcoming this challenge. To understand in their flesh that even after a break up, they can be ok. To provide adequate reparenting to their inner child so they stop attracting people abandoning them to reveal the self abandonment they have been doing all along.
- An immature way of communicating. Most people still don’t know how to truly communicate with their partners from an empathetic and loving space. When you start the process of freeing yourself from the pain of your past, and start giving to your inner child what he was lacking, once that is on going, partners can learn how to communicate with consciousness and compassion. They lose the need to be right and gain the desire to understand each other in order to progress and expand themselves as well as their relationship. They act from love instead of reacting from traumas. That’s healing.