Love bombing is an attempt to influence, control or manipulate a person by excessive demonstration of attention, admiration and affection. Love bombing can be a form of manipulation. Don’t let authentic love and affection be confused for love bombing. This is inauthentic attempts at winning you in for reasons other than true love.
Signs you may be love bombed
- Too much happening too soon. Your relationship progresses quickly & you are in a “serious” relationship before you realise.
- They demand a lot of your time.
- They make grand romantic gestures and promises and constantly compliment you.
- Your relationship feels too good to be true.
- They exude over-the-top charm.
- They say things like “I want to get married to you already”, “I want to take you to Paris this weekend.” “Here’s a $300 perfume for you.”
- They say “I love you” in no time.
- They know your insecurities and say just the right things to make you feel good.
- Their attention, affection and admiration is typically short-lived.
- The love bombing phase is usually followed by manipulation or devaluation.
Why is love bombing dangerous?
The idealisation can bring someone’s self-esteem, hope, and reciprocated affection to great heights only to be trampled by the eventual devaluation.
When someone love bombs you, it’s easy to begin to grow romantic feelings for that person. However, love bombing often turns to devaluation and this can make the person on the receiving end of love bombing get depressed, anxious and act in desperation to be put back on the pedestal.
Love bombing is a tactic because everyone wants to feel good. It is ultimately inauthentic and manipulative. Your brain gets hooked on the highs of the attention. So, once the (manipulation_ behaviour comes, you’re less likely to recognise it and act on it. Plus, all your partner has to do is throw out a few more love bombs and you’re more likely to forgive and forget.
It’s not about care or compassion or tenderness. For the love bomber, you’re no different than a shiny new toy that captures their attention for the moment.
Trust your gut if someone doesn’t feel quite right for you.