How to Uncover Big Feels and Deeper Connections!

In a world where small conversation is frequently monotonous, there’s a refreshing alternative that can lead to deeper connections: asking people about their interests. This simple shift in conversation can lead to greater understanding and true participation. Let’s look at why this method is so effective and how to apply it into your relationships.

The Power of Passion

Not everyone you meet will have an impressive career or a showy title, but everyone is passionate about something. These passions, whether as hobbies, aspirations, or interests, are sometimes disregarded in our daily talks. By focussing on what individuals enjoy, you can encourage them to open up and share a side of themselves that is frequently hidden beneath the surface.

Learnt the Hard Way

I realised the significance of this strategy in my early twenties, albeit uncomfortably. At a gathering, I asked someone what she did for a living, unaware that she had been laid off from her ideal job just hours before. This awkward situation made me think about why we commonly ask about job. After all, while employment is an important component of our lives, it does not define us completely.

Rethinking the “What Do You Do?” Question.

Around the world, our jobs frequently determine much of who we are. It is the second most time-consuming activity, following sleep. However, as Renyi Hong points out in the European Journal of Cultural Studies, passion is inextricably linked to the broader workplace culture. It’s more than just what we do for a livelihood; it’s about what motivates us, what excites us, and what we hope to accomplish.

If I had questioned that partygoer about her passions instead of her job, I may have heard stories of creativity and ambition rather than a foot-in-mouth situation. This realisation prompted me to reconsider my approach to interactions.

The Magic Question: “What are you passionate about?”

The next time you meet someone new, ask them what they are enthusiastic about. This inquiry goes beyond the confines of employment and gets to the heart of what makes individuals tick. It’s an excellent icebreaker at conferences or networking gatherings, but it can also spark fascinating talks in unexpected settings, such as a baseball game or a parent-teacher night.

More often than not, you’ll get a reaction like, “Oh, wow, no one has ever asked me that – interesting! “I love to…” This question pushes people to go outside of their preconceived mental boxes and venture into unknown land.

The Joy of Discovering Passions

I’ve been using this conversational quirk for nearly 20 years, and the reactions are always interesting. At the very least, it inspires a willingness to venture into unfamiliar but welcoming territory. People are frequently shocked by how open they become, and they may also be startled by how much they love sharing their interests.

Building Genuine Connections

By focussing on passions, you may create an environment in which people feel valued for who they are rather than just their work. This strategy encourages genuine interactions, which can lead to deeper partnerships. When people discuss their passions, they disclose a side of themselves that is frequently concealed, allowing you to connect on a deeper level.

Bringing Passion into Everyday Life

Consider how you can apply this strategy to different elements of your life. Whether you’re meeting new coworkers, speaking with neighbours, or checking up with old acquaintances, asking about passions can lead to more interesting and meaningful interactions.

Expanding the conversation beyond work

It’s crucial to realise that passions extend beyond professional interests. People have numerous interests that span many aspects of life, including art, music, athletics, travel, and community involvement. Exploring these areas can lead to the discovery of stories and experiences that will help you better understand the individual with whom you are conversing.

For example, someone may have a passion for painting that they pursue in their spare time. By enquiring about this passion, you may discover about their creative process, favourite artists, or even exhibitions they have attended. Such chats can be quite beneficial, providing insight into the other person’s distinct world.

Establishing a Safe Space for Sharing

To fully realise the promise of these interactions, it is critical to foster a safe and accepting environment. Show genuine interest in the other person’s passions and actively listen to them. Avoid judgemental or disrespectful comments, as they might derail the conversation and discourage further sharing.

Instead, offer open-ended enquiries that prompt the individual to comment on their interests. For example, you could question “What inspired you to start painting?” or “How do you feel when you’re immersed in your art?” These enquiries exhibit your curiosity and encourage the individual to share more thoroughly.

Passionate conversations have a ripple effect.

Conversations about interests benefit not only the individuals engaged, but can also have an impact on the larger community. When people feel acknowledged and respected for their interests, they are more inclined to engage in pleasant and meaningful interactions with others. This can result in a more connected and supportive community where different interests are celebrated.

Furthermore, these discussions can motivate others to pursue their own hobbies. Hearing someone speak passionately about their interests might generate a desire in others to try new hobbies or revisit old ones. This ripple effect has the potential to build a vibrant and dynamic community in which everyone feels empowered to follow their passions.

A world of possibilities.

In a world where small talk is prevalent, enquiring about passions opens up a universe of possibilities. It enables you to connect with others on a deeper level, fostering true relationships and meaningful encounters. So, the next time you meet someone new, ask them what they are passionate about. You may be shocked by the stories you hear and the connections you create. Give it a trial and see how it improves your conversations and enriches your life.

By adopting this attitude, you not only improve your personal social relationships, but also help to create a more connected and understanding world. Let us make an effort to see beyond the surface and tap into the rich tapestry of human passion that surrounds us every day.

Life’s Bumpy Ride. Buckle Up for the Ups and Downs!

5 responses to “Passion Quest: The Adventure of Ditching Small Talk”

  1. To me it illustrates the point that questions are more expansive than answers…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post 👌 you’re spot on. It seems like this day and age we have a checklist of things we need to tick off when getting to know someone. The house you live in, what car you drive and what you do for a living. Just so we can establish in our minds how wealthy someone is. No one ever asks you if you’re happy or not. It’s a materialistic way of life that dictates some people’s behaviour

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the kind words! 🙌 You’re so right, it’s like we’ve got this unspoken scorecard for life. It’s crazy how the focus is often on the superficial stuff, and we forget to ask the real questions that matter, like ‘Are you happy?’ or ‘What makes you tick?’ I think it’s time we start flipping the script and value genuine connections over material things. Let’s keep it real! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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