Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you or making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.
Here are a few steps for granting the gift of forgiveness :
- Acknowledge the anger and hurt caused by the clearly identified specific offences.
- Bar revenge and any thought of infecting harm as repayment or punishment to the offender.
- Consider the offender’s perspective. Try to understand his/her attitude and behaviour.
- Decide to accept the hurt without unloading it on the offender. Passing it back and forth magnifies it.
- Extend compassion and good will to the offender. That releases the offended from the offence.
Forgiving others is essential for spiritual growth. Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more that a thought or feeling that you carry around. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could release them, you would know more peace.