Welcome fellow souls to « The Human Family Crash Course Series, » a new project collaborated together by empress2inspire.blog and sensispirit.wordpress.com. Together we will be working on a different topic for each crash course; our first topic is focused on « Self Love. » Each topic will have eight posts with posts on Mondays and Thursdays. We hope you enjoy our series and we look forward to knowing how our posts have inspired you!
This post is dedicated for people who are on a self love journey or who want to begin a self love journey. I know maybe you already have begun because you are reading this post on self love.
So many people are afraid of doing things for themselves or even worse afraid of thinking for themselves because they are worried that people will think they are selfish. I have been there at times and I have put my needs last so that I can please or help others and it didn’t work out. That’s not self love. So let’s look at what is self love and what self love is not.
What is Self Love?
- Self love is the understanding that you don’t have to be perfect and that you are already worthy of love. We are all part of existence and so self love is knowing that you have permission to exist because you are a human being.
- There is nothing that you have to prove to anyone that you are worthy, valuable or lovable. You don’t have to be thinner, smarter, more funny, more loving etc. Self love is knowing that you don’t have to be different from the self you already are.
- You will never get wholeness from outside sources because it is a false sense of self. You will never be fulfilled by those things because you should know you are acceptable as you are right now.
Knowing this changes everything when you finally understand the concept of your higher self, loving that higher self. There is no conditional love for yourself. When you give yourself conditional love, you will also possibly love others in the same way. For example you may say that you will start loving yourself when you lose weight. Many of us have been there. That is incorrect.
Selfish vs. Selfless
Self love is being selfless because you are giving yourself unconditional love. A selfish person will love you with conditions. For example, when someone says “I will only love you if…..”. A selfish person also thinks that when they give love, they should receive the same love back or even more. When a selfless person loves and gives, they know it’s not about receiving anything in return.
Selfish people judge and criticise instead of supporting you in the state in which you are in right now. If your partner told you that you are selfish for doing some self care then they are selfish. Why would anyone want to stop someone from recharging, de-stressing and loving yourself.
Selfish people don’t care about what other people feel or think. Selfish people give to get love which is false love set on conditions, attachments or obsessions. So a lot of people are in relationships based on attachments or obsessions. This is false love. We can do that to ourselves too when we are obsessed about our appearance, objectifying ourselves. That is not giving ourselves unconditional love.
How to find a balance then?
Set Healthy Boundaries. Boundaries are not selfish. A lot of people are afraid to set boundaries because they might view themselves as mean or drawing up this huge wall. Setting up healthy boundaries actually helps you to grow in a relationship with the person, helps you to communicate about how you feel. Protect yourself by setting boundaries.