Taking yourself seriously, allowing yourself to feel what you feel (primary emotions), think what you think, want what you want, with acceptance and without judgements, second guessing, self loathing, or self contempt.
How can I validate myself? Here’s how
- Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings : observe, describe, participate, non-judgemental; just notice (what is, is).
- Notice judgements but do not attach to them…let them go.
- Notice your thinking, and observe it (not necessarily participating in the thought, not necessarily taking the thought as “true”)
- Accurately identify your feelings (focus on primary emotions)
- Allow yourself to feel my primary emotions; not escape from them with judgements, out of control actions, etc, and not numb out from them; instead allow and manage them skilfully, take your experiences seriously.
- Respect your own values.
Using Radical Acceptance
- Search for understanding and legitimacy, honestly & non-judgementally.
- Try radical acceptance of being, of your feelings, of thoughts, of actions.
- Practice willingness with respect to your own experience.
- Recontextualize the things you tend to invalidate (broaden and balance the context of the thing you are invalidating).
Change How I Respond to Myself
- Respond in a way (action) that you would take yourself seriously.
- Normalise my normative emotions, rather than criticise or judge them.
- Recognise truly problematic behaviour and target it for change.
- Provide myself nurturance and support, or seek it from another.
- Find compassion for myself when I’s suffering, as I would for any human being.
- Use my wise mind.