Regardless of what type of boundaries you are talking about, it’s important to keep in mind that healthy boundaries are all about you and the other person in the relationship’s wants, needs, and limits being honored and respected. It’s also important to remember that healthy boundaries take effort and intentionality to implement and maintain. Healthy boundaries can also help prevent relationship abuse by helping individuals understand the difference between what is acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior in different types of relationships. Unhealthy boundaries involve a disregard for your own and others’ values, wants, needs, and limits. They can also lead to potentially abusive dating/romantic relationships and increase the chances of other types of abusive relationships as well.
Here are some examples of unhealthy vs healthy boundaries :
Unhealthy – Telling all
Healthy – I consider the other person’s level of interest and caring before opening up to them.
Unhealthy – Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting.
Healthy – I do not overwhelm a person with things about me. I trust step by step as I feel I am getting trust in return.
Unhealthy – Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
Healthy – I allow love to develop. I know the qualities I need in a relationship and those that are negative for me. I take the time to check those out in a new acquaintance.
Unhealthy – Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
Healthy – When someones reaches out to me, I ask myself whether this person has the qualities I need.
Unhealthy – Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied.
Healthy – When I am in a relationship. I am able to “compartmentalise’ other areas of my life and to continue to function in them.
Unhealthy – Acting on first sexual impulse.
Healthy – My feelings and myself self esteem decide whether I act on sexual impulses. “Will I feel good about myself?” is my first question.
Struggling with boundaries. Here’s a post on how to build healthy boundaries > https://empress2inspire.blog/2020/02/22/build-better-boundaries/
References : https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYfXI2AWAAEgOkd.jpg