Unhealthy vs Healthy Boundaries

Regardless of what type of boundaries you are talking about, it’s important to keep in mind that healthy boundaries are all about you and the other person in the relationship’s wants, needs, and limits being honored and respected. It’s also important to remember that healthy boundaries take effort and intentionality to implement and maintain. Healthy boundaries can also help prevent relationship abuse by helping individuals understand the difference between what is acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior in different types of relationships. Unhealthy boundaries involve a disregard for your own and others’ values, wants, needs, and limits. They can also lead to potentially abusive dating/romantic relationships and increase the chances of other types of abusive relationships as well.

Here are some examples of unhealthy vs healthy boundaries :

Unhealthy – Telling all
Healthy – I consider the other person’s level of interest and caring before opening up to them.

Unhealthy – Talking at an intimate level on the first meeting.
Healthy – I do not overwhelm a person with things about me. I trust step by step as I feel I am getting trust in return.

Unhealthy – Falling in love with a new acquaintance.
Healthy – I allow love to develop. I know the qualities I need in a relationship and those that are negative for me. I take the time to check those out in a new acquaintance.

Unhealthy – Falling in love with anyone who reaches out.
Healthy – When someones reaches out to me, I ask myself whether this person has the qualities I need.

Unhealthy – Being overwhelmed by a person – preoccupied.
Healthy – When I am in a relationship. I am able to “compartmentalise’ other areas of my life and to continue to function in them.

Unhealthy – Acting on first sexual impulse.
Healthy – My feelings and myself self esteem decide whether I act on sexual impulses. “Will I feel good about myself?” is my first question.

Struggling with boundaries. Here’s a post on how to build healthy boundaries > https://empress2inspire.blog/2020/02/22/build-better-boundaries/

References : https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYfXI2AWAAEgOkd.jpg

18 Comments Add yours

  1. I definitely agree with your third to last point. Time and time again I’ve caught myself failing for people that just showed up instead of really figuring out who they really were. Great post I loved it 💪🏼

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Mark.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for the reblog

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, Dear! Have a great day!
        xoxox 😘💕😊🌹

        Liked by 1 person

  2. DiosRaw says:


    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      At one time or another, we all have felt overlooked, forgotten, or just not cared for by the people in our lives. Perhaps you do not know how to separate yourself from unhealthy people or the chaos that comes with engaging with manipulative behaviors. Regardless of what we learned (or did not learn) from our families of origin, we can walk away from the chaos and crazy-making — we don’t have to let these situations hijack our emotional state. The key is to define and use boundaries.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. DiosRaw says:

        Yes.. boundaries is something I am working on, I am very empathetic and can get too caught up helping others and neglect myself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Resilience is something that can also help.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. DiosRaw says:

        Yes.. another concept I am putting into action..

        Liked by 1 person

      4. GS says:

        You are on the right track girl!!

        Liked by 1 person

      5. DiosRaw says:

        Haha, either way the track will lead home. Enough philosophy now Amber.. 😂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Wayne Cee says:

    Really grateful for this post 🙏🏻 not long out of a long term relationship and have come close to falling into some of these new relationship pitfalls.
    This has come at a perfect time for me to step back and consider instead of diving in as I have often before 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Wonderful Wayne. I would like to congratulate you for atleast being aware of blurry boundaries


    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Love Alone says:

        You are most Welcome

        Liked by 1 person

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