I hope you do not feel like you shouldn’t be able to talk about how difficult it is to wait and trust in the process. Please do not let anyone make you feel like you are automatically ungrateful just because you are struggling to see where the Light pours in. Yes, a daily practice of gratitude is incredibly valuable to your well being, but it does not mean that you have to pretend you are immune to be strong emotions that come with waiting.
Learning to trust in the process is about learning to trust that there is so much happening beneath the surface. Beneath the layers of worries, doubts, and long lists of things you have not figured out, there is endless, boundless grace that gives you room to feel what you need to feel, while also moving forward for : the opportunity to keep going. To keep trying. To keep waking up each morning knowing that even if you didn’t have the best start, or even if the failure of yesterday still seem to haunt you, you are free to try again. You are free to trust and embrace the process of learning every lesson you need to learn that you know is only going to prepare you for whatever lies ahead.