Be Inspired..!!

Because guidelines solve everything, obviously!

These days, it seems like self-love is a topic of conversation wherever you look. “You should love yourself more,” I said. “If you don’t love yourself, how do you think anyone else will?” “You ought to show yourself more love,” However, what does the term “self-love” actually mean? I think this is a term that is used far too frequently without a definition that makes sense.

I heard it a lot during my personal growth experience, to the point where, to be honest, it started to feel like a trigger word to me. I used to think, “I really do love myself!” I get really upset when I don’t feel like I deserve to be treated, for this reason! Why can’t other people realise how awesome I think I am? Fortunately, I am here to set the record straight for both you and me. I’m going to give you a clear definition of self-love from my point of view and explain how it might manifest itself in everyday situations.

Empathising with yourself means avoiding individuals and circumstances that make you feel unstable on the inside. Being kind to oneself means that you value them so much and would stop at nothing to keep them safe. This is what it means to love oneself. Why would you let someone abuse you in the same way that you wouldn’t tolerate someone berating, manipulating, and screaming at a child?

Adopting self-love is refusing to settle for short-term satisfaction and instead choosing to go through the painful process of personal development. We occasionally wish to rush back to the person following a split. We wish to tell them about our day as we miss them. We resist the need to text them because all we really need from them is consolation, but by doing so, we merely make the pain worse and fail to acknowledge the true reasons for our departure. In the end, we will only gain from choosing to love ourselves enough to endure discomfort while knowing that it will pass. Happiness is merely a mental condition; moving forward is a decision.

It takes self-love to let go of the things and people that prevent you from being your best self. It’s difficult, particularly if you’re an understanding, sympathetic person. We hardly ever want to say goodbye to someone we love or have to turn down comforting items. However, you must let go of anything or anyone that is impeding your ability to be the best version of yourself. Never deviate from your highest self’s guidance. It might hurt right now, but it will be well worth it in the end. Assurance granted.

Self-love entails accepting yourself for your mistakes. We’re all fallible. We all make mistakes from time to time since we are fallible beings. We wouldn’t be here if we always got things perfect; instead, we would just be existing. Making an honest assessment of where you went wrong, accepting the choices that led you there, and devising a plan of action to move ahead are the most self-loving things you can do for yourself. That’s alright. You wouldn’t make mistakes if you loved yourself enough, despite the stigma associated with “self-love.” Love yourself enough to own up to your imperfections and learn how to move on after being knocked down.

Making the daily decision to be oneself is self-love. One of my favourite sayings is, “You are the only one who will go to sleep with you every night and the only one who has woken up with yourself every morning.” This serves as a lovely reminder of why we should put our needs first. It simply means that you should make sure you are not taking more from your cup than you are contributing. This is not to say that you should become so self-centred that you stop caring for your loved ones. Your loved ones will eventually suffer from your mental illness, therefore you must prioritise taking care of yourself.

Making sacrifices for yourself is a sign of self-love. When we become entangled in a relationship, we are prepared to put ourselves through discomfort in order to ensure the happiness of the other person. But are you prepared to go through the same discomfort for yourself? You would give up sleep to visit a new partner, but would you give up sleep to get up early and work towards your objectives?

Being in love with oneself is an extremely personal path. Not many of us learnt how to practise it when we were growing up. On the contrary, a lot of us were raised to be people-pleasers after being encouraged to be good boys and girls and not to upset anyone. The most personal relationship you have with yourself should be one of self-love. Everybody has a unique route to follow, and they are all free to choose. You should not allow poisonous positivity to prevent you from getting better or let other people’s interpretations of self-love to prevent you from discovering your own.

Define your own life. Don’t follow the crowd….

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