Because Anchors Are Best Left on Boats, Not People

No matter how far you’ve come in life, there are always individuals who like reminding you of who you used to be. It’s like getting training wheels long after you’ve mastered bicycling. While change is inevitable, why do we often hold onto relationships that keep us bound to our former selves? Those who consistently pull us back might stymie our development, functioning as an anchor when we are attempting to set sail.

Consider a high school or early-career acquaintance who still views you as the uncomfortable, hesitant version of yourself. It’s like going back to your childhood home and discovering that your room has been frozen in time, with outdated posters and furnishings that no longer reflect you. Nostalgia is comfortable, but when others perceive us entirely through that lens, it may become a prison.

Consider someone — a friend or colleague — who sees the real you as you are now. They encourage your development, support your goals, and give you the confidence to take on any challenge. This individual does not linger on previous errors or who you were years ago; instead, they concentrate on your current goals. It’s the buddy who, rather than comparing your current difficulties to past mistakes, dives into the trenches alongside you, eager to get hands-on as you carve your own route.

True closeness in relationships begins with real understanding. Being with people who genuinely understand you is like slipping into your favourite pair of jeans — just perfect. These people remind you of your greatest qualities, including those you may have forgotten. They recognise not just your potential, but also your achievements. It’s the spouse who encourages your new activities rather than mocking you, or the buddy who listens to your dreams without shifting the conversation to past failures.

So ask yourself, “Who are these people in my life?” Who gets excited when you go into a room and see your current self and everything you can be? Importantly, who pushes you while also encouraging you, finding capabilities in you that you haven’t completely recognised yet?

Lean into those partnerships. Move towards the individuals who give you hope and confidence. They’re like sunshine attracting a plant to the sky — your potential may flourish in their warmth. These are the folks that bring calm and beauty into your life, like a cool breeze on a hot day.

Yes, it is difficult to detach oneself from folks who are trapped in the past. It may feel like going off a well-trodden route into the unknown. But remember this: the folks that actually understand your journey and appreciate your progress are the ones to stick around. They’ll be there for you through life’s twists and turns, eager to see your tale unfold. These connections have an unrivalled level of intimacy.

Choose who you surround yourself with carefully — let rid of those who tether you to who you were and keep those who enhance who you have become. These are the relationships that bring serenity into your environment and give your life richness and significance.

Take care.

Delusions of Finding Life’s Perfect Zen. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Pretend Everything’s Peachy

Dive into these pages, embrace the tender emotions, and allow the verses to whisper their heartfelt messages of remembrance. Discover that although love can be ephemeral, its imprint lasts forever, guiding us toward a future bright with possibility.