Why Holding Your Breath for Others is a Breath Wasted
There comes a time in life when you must face the uncomfortable reality of waiting for people to change. To be honest, I’m tired of waiting for others to do the right thing. I’ve spent too much time expecting that individuals will admit their mistakes, apologise, or make amends for their harmful behaviour. But, in reality, waiting for something that may never happen is tiresome and unsatisfactory. It’s time to take control of my life and stop putting it on hold for the sake of others.
Recognising that closure may never arrive is liberating in some ways. When you’ve been waiting for something for a long time and it doesn’t come, you gradually stop wanting it. The excitement fades, and you realise that the closure you thought you wanted isn’t as important as you originally imagined. Instead than holding out for an apology or explanation, it is more empowering to let go and go on.
If I’m being honest, I’ve often elevated folks who didn’t deserve it. I’ve given them too many chances, expecting them to perform correctly just to be disappointed time and again. I did this because I wasn’t prepared to lose them, or because the obstinate side of me refused to recognise that my decisions were incorrect. But I’m done letting my pride dictate my behaviour. It’s okay to admit that you were mistaken about someone or that they didn’t turn out to be who you expected. It’s okay to admit that you trusted the wrong person or overlooked red signs. What’s crucial is to let go and not cling on to someone merely to prove something to yourself or others.
Waiting for people to do the right thing can only hurt you. It leaves you in a state of uncertainty, with no clear solution or timetable. You are left to hope and speculate, with nothing substantial to hang onto. It’s a never-ending loop of assumptions, what-ifs, and possibilities. If you are continually waiting for someone to show up for you, it indicates that they are not really present in your life. It means you don’t entirely trust how they feel about you, since when you’re certain of someone’s sentiments, you don’t have to wonder if they’ll show up for you or not.
The truth is that things aren’t always as complicated as we make them. Wanting to keep someone around might cloud your judgement and shut down your thinking. You begin to make excuses for them, imagining the best-case situation and giving them more power to damage you. But, to be honest, waiting for someone to improve or act appropriately is a total waste of time. People that want to show up for you do so willingly and with love. They value you and would never risk losing you. They do not make you wait for their affection, time, or attention.
Accepting this realisation is a step towards self-esteem and empowerment. It’s about putting yourself first and recognising that you deserve better. You deserve to be in partnerships where you do not have to doubt someone’s devotion or intentions. You need folks who are dependable, consistent, and really concerned about you.
So, how do you move on from this realisation? It begins with self-reflection and setting boundaries. Take a step back and analyse your connections. Are there folks that continually disappoint you or make you feel uncertain? If so, it’s time to reconsider their place in your life. It is acceptable to detach yourself from people who do not contribute positively to your well-being.
Next, work on developing a support network of individuals that encourage and value you. Surround yourself with people who show up for you without hesitation and make you feel valued and loved. These are the relationships that are worth your time and attention.
Additionally, engage in self-care and self-compassion. It might be difficult to let go of the expectation that others will change, and it’s crucial to be nice to yourself during this process. Engage in activities that make you happy and fulfilled, and remind yourself of your value. You are worthy of love and respect, and it is critical to internalise this belief.
Finally, accept the power of letting go. Release your desire for closure or validation from others. Trust that you have the strength to move forward and build a life that reflects your values and desires. Letting go does not imply forgetting or ignoring your experiences; rather, it involves deciding to prioritise your pleasure and well-being.
Remember that it is totally natural to experience a range of emotions on your self-discovery journey. You may experience relief, grief, or even a sense of loss. Allow yourself to process these emotions without judgement. They contribute to your personal development and rehabilitation. Consider writing down your ideas or discussing with a trusted friend or therapist to acquire perspective and clarity.
As you continue to embrace your newfound independence, seek out new possibilities and experiences. Open yourself up to meeting new people who share your beliefs and goals. Participate in things that challenge and inspire you, and don’t be afraid to leave your comfort zone. This is your chance to redefine your life on your own terms.
Remember, life is too short to wait for others to behave properly. You have the ability to live a satisfying and meaningful life, and it begins with letting go of those who do not add value to your journey. Accept the beauty of uncertainty and believe that the appropriate people and events will appear in your life when you least expect it.
Finally, waiting for others to do the right thing is a useless endeavour that will only hold you back. It’s time to take back control of your life and stop putting your happiness on hold for the sake of others. Accept the freedom that comes with letting go, and concentrate on developing genuine, helpful, and rewarding connections. Remember, you deserve the best, and it is up to you to live a life that reflects that.
Year of the Glow-Up. 2025: The Year We Finally Get Our Act Together!
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