Practising Non Judgementalness

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Leaving out comparison, judgements, and assumptions :

  • Practice observing judgemental thoughts and statements, saying in your mind, “A judgmental thought arose in my mind.”
  • Count judgemental thoughts and statements (by moving objects or pieces of paper from one pocket to another, by clicking a sports counter, or by marking a piece of paper).
  • Replace judgemental thoughts and statements with nonjudgmental thoughts and statements.
    – Tips for replacing judgement by stating the facts
    1. Describe the facts of the event or situation, only what is observed with your senses.
    2. Describe the consequences of the event. Keep to the facts.
    3. Describe your own feelings in response to the facts (remember, emotions are not judgements).
  • Observe your judgemental facial expressions, postures, and voice tones (including voice tones in your head).
  • Change judgemental expressions, postures, and voice tones.
  • Tell someone what you did today non judgementally, or about an event that occurred. Stay very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
  • Write out a nonjudgemental description of an event that prompted an emotion.
  • Write out a judgemental blow by blow account of a particularly important episode in your day. Describe both what happened in your environment and what your thoughts, feelings, and actions were. Leave out any analysis of why something happened, or why you thought, felt, or acted as you did. Stick to the facts that you observed.
  • Imagine a person you are angry with. Bring to mind what the person has done that has caused so much anger. Try to become that person, seeing life from that person’s point of view. Imagine that person’s feelings, thoughts, fears, hopes, and wishes. Imagine that person’s history and what has happened in his or her history. Imagine understanding that person.
  • When judgemental, practice half smiling and/or willing hands.

Reference : https://mindfullyhealing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/dbt-skills-ideas-for-practicing-nonjudgmentalness.jpg

20 Comments Add yours

  1. Good point to be observant of our facial expressions and mannerisms.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes agreed Mary. As Jon Kabat-Zinn reminds us, “mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and without judgment.” The last part of that definition, non-judgment, means letting go of the automatic judgments that arise in your mind with every experience you have. Setting down the judging mind, even for a short while, is a refreshing weight off of your shoulders. In practicing non-judgment, there’s no longer anything to be done about the present moment. No grasping for more, no resisting what’s there, and no ignoring of life’s experience. When you stop trying to react to your experience, you can open up to it completely, resting in mindful presence.

      Like

  2. henhouselady says:

    Great thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      There’s nothing inherently wrong with these judgments. It’s the nature of the mind to judge. Sometimes, these judgments are helpful. They can lead you to understand the things that bring you up, give you energy, and fill you with purpose. They can help you understand what doesn’t resonate with you, and leaves you feeling drained.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ckquintana says:

    I just want to take a Moment and let you Thank YOU from depths of my heart ! Thank You for Your Inspiration, Motivation and Importantly Wow Your Commitment! I absolutely Just feel so Enlightened after reading each one of Your Post. Freaking Amazing ! You Rock❣️ & in a Busy Busy 🌎 I look forward to stop and take you in Daily❣️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Wow Thank you CK 🙏🏼 I appreciate you taking time to read my posts and show appreciation. I am grateful for your support. I truly appreciate the confidence you showed in me. I want to thank you as soon as possible. I wish you good luck for all your endeavours. Stay safe. Stay healthy.

      Like

  4. The second-to-last bullet has changed how I interact with people. It’s a way to hone your empathy and is very effective but takes time to develop that habit, especially in a moment of anger.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      We have all been there Danielle. I understand where you are coming from and believe me you are not alone. When you are feeling angry or dealing with someone who is angry, it’s helpful to remember your capacity for empathy. To understand another person’s anger with empathy and help them defuse it, begin mirroring their anger by referring to it. Mirroring the information demonstrates that you have seen their emotion.

      Like

  5. Moonshine says:

    I can appreciate this post a lot, this is something that I want to work on. I have a long way to go, but when angry and when disappointed it is very easy to start judging others. Much gratitude.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      We all struggle with it sometimes Moonshine. You are not alone. By staying non-judgemental, they are more likely to feel comfortable about discussing their issues and to continue the conversation. They are also more likely to come back to you again when they are struggling, which means you have more opportunities to be able to help them.

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      1. Moonshine says:

        Are there more sources and tips that you have that we can use to get better with those. I think those self probing questions and or affirmations are useful tools.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Yes they are. I can research some and come up with a post in future. Hope that’s okay. Please allow me some time to get back 🙂

        Like

  6. DiosRaw says:

    Brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Have a great day!!
        xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        💙💙

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Taylor B says:

    Yes! This is so important. I try my hardest to not be judgmental, but sometimes, it’s hard. I think the best thing to do is to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I had to tell myself that all the time when I worked a food service job. “That person is not upset with you. They are just going through something, and you were and easy target.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes Taylor. Another thing to note here is Being non-judgemental does not mean that you are ignoring your own feelings or are being blind to their behaviour. It means that you are choosing to separate the person’s behaviour from who they are as a person. You are aware and acknowledging any prejudice you may have in yourself to best be able to support that loved one in an open-minded way. After seeing your loved one, it is important to consider your own feelings and to express them in a safe space for you. You may be shocked with some of their behaviours, and that is reasonable, so letting that out in a way that is separate from them is important.

      Liked by 1 person

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