Regardless of your ideological views or political persuasion, these are turbulent times around the world. I’ve noticed a sense of angst, heightened anxiety, and a palpable change in how people treat each other personally and professionally. It’s time to get back to what distinguishes us as human beings – treating one another with compassion, dignity, and respect. Even those with whom we disagree the most deserve to be treated with care. We moved around the triangle until one of us moves out and into a clear and healthy communication pattern. Be the one. Be the change you want in the conversation.
Let’s look at the Victim (Helpless) in the conversation :
- Usually caught saying things like “Poor me. I give up.” “I’m not OK and everybody else is”
- Feels oppressed, hopeless, ashamed, powerless, incapable and misunderstood.
- Seeks to hook up with a rescuer to validate the above feelings.
- Refuses to make decisions, solve problems, get professional help, do self care or change.
How to change converse with the victim? Move to Survivor/Thriver :
- State what you want: and take action
- Keep Agreements: If someone helps, do your part by following through.
- Ask Yourself : “How can I get what I really want in a healthy way?”
- Count Your Blessings : Acknowledge your strengths and what is going on.
- Remember : You make you! and You’re stronger than you think.