Childhood Emotional Trauma

Childhood emotional trauma is defined as any experience that a child has that he or she is unable to process or understand, which causes fear or a sense of being unsafe or helpless. A child perceives being emotionally disconnected from a parent as dangerous because a child is completely reliant on their parent for safety and survival.

If a child cannot receive a sense of emotional connection, love, and safety simply for being themselves, they will cope by developing unhealthy beliefs and behaviors. If you grew up in a home where all of your physical needs were met, you may think to yourself, “My childhood wasn’t that bad,” or you may even feel guilty for having negative core beliefs about yourself. It is critical to understand that emotional trauma is trauma.

Here are few things we think are normal that are actually childhood emotional trauma :

  • When it is expected of you to ignore or deny family problems.
  • Parents who use the “silent treatment” as punishment.
  • Not being allowed to share or express your emotions because their will be a negative reaction from your parent or caregiver.
  • Being shamed for displaying unique aspects of oneself.
  • When your parents consistently prioritise their own needs and desires over yours.
  • In the home, there is a lack of fun, play, joy, and laughter.
  • Emotional gaslighting occurs when you are told “don’t cry” when you are upset.
  • Being emotionally ignored, not being asked about who you are, and your uniqueness not being valued.
  • Not feeling seen or known, and not being emotionally connected to.
  • Having your perception of an experience invalidated or ignored by a parent, such as being told that an overwhelming experience “isn’t a big deal.”
  • Having a family member who abuses substances and being forbidden from discussing it.
  • If you do not feel encouraged or supported, you must earn or prove yourself in order to receive praise, attention, or affection.
  • Having an emotionally reactive parent who experiences extreme highs and lows and vents their emotions on you.
  • Being chastised for your physical appearance.
  • When you grow up in a close-knit family, you inherit your parents’ emotional experiences; you lack emotional independence.
  • When a child’s parent cries or has an emotional outburst, the child must console their parent.
  • Boundaries are not being modelled or encouraged.
  • Emotions and difficult conversations are avoided.
  • Your inner world and individuality are discouraged, such as being told that something you enjoy is “silly” or “a waste of time.”
  • Being humiliated or mocked for making a mistake.

Emotional trauma prevents you from learning to know, love, and develop a healthy self concept. Understanding how you became disconnected from yourself is the first step toward reconnecting.

19 Comments Add yours

  1. Any Element says:

    Childhood Trauma Is a Terrible Condition It could often give birth to more sadistic figures in this world. It is even the reason of highest rate of suicide in the world today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Sad but true. People need to be aware of their triggers

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bewilded says:

    🙏Great advice GS… Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you. Glad you liked the post.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you 🙏🏼

      Like

  3. Brenda says:

    Food for thought

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes Brenda. Very subtle but has massive influence.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s a dreadful thing you take with you the rest of the life. I have myself some childhood traumas.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Yes Michael. We all have despite well meaning parents. But now we know how to slowly rise above them.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. dark World says:

    I have so many examples related. Thanks 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Most welcome. Glad you liked the post.

      Like

  6. Lesley says:

    There are so many adults going around with a hurt child inside. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Yes Lesley, sad but true that they don’t even realise they have their inner child to fix

      Like

  7. There isn’t enough understanding about trauma. My trauma only took effect when my first little girl arrived. I connect events at her various ages to mine andvit hit me like a ton of bricks and I had no words to explain my overwhelming emotions. And I didn’t know I was autistic and bi polar. I eventually got bi polar, but I didn’t know one could be both. So, thanks for writing about it. I can’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      I am sorry this happened to you Sasha/Sonya. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh boy. I was definitely traumatized by my parents and I fear im doing the same to a certain degree to my son.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Counselling can help if you are open to it. Good luck and take care

      Like

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