Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves. Everyone’s boundaries are different, and they are based on what is personally important to us. Boundaries can be set in several aspects of life, such as work, relationships, family, and in conflict. Boundaries can be set in several aspects of life, such as work, relationships, family, and in conflict. Boundaries can be physical or emotional limits and help to determine a person’s comfort level, needs, and preferences. Essentially, boundaries dictate how we want/allow ourselves to be treated, and how we treat others. Healthy boundaries allow for accountability, respect, and open communication.
If you grew up in a home where no boundaries were set or where people violated your boundaries, setting and maintaining their boundaries may be difficult. It is okay if it is hard. Setting clear boundaries is no selfish, it seems the tone for healthy relationships and is an important part of one’s own well being. If you ever notice you feel resentful or drained by a person/place/situation, it may be time to look at the boundaries. Remember, boundaries are not threats or ultimatums. Sometimes it is hard for other’s to respect our boundaries, but this is not a reflection of you.
Healthy Boundaries Look Like
- Valuing your own opinions
- Respecting limits set by you/others
- Not compromising own values for someone else
- Sharing information appropriately
- Effectively communicating needs/wants
- Accepting “no” from others
- Being able to say “No”
- Being able to identify when a boundary has been broken
Come back tomorrow for more on how to determine healthy boundaries for yourself.