Emotional Abuse Part 1

Emotional abuse does not always lead to physical violence, however almost all physical or social violence does include emotional abuse. It is powerful tool used by one person to maintain a feeling of power and control over another person.

This type of abuse is intended to install negative feelings such as shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear. It can include belittling or humiliating a partner in public or in private, isolation, name-calling, making a partner feel ashamed, controlling the money, criticism, threats to harm the partner/children/pets, and the silent treatment.

Emotional abuse is often hard to recognise. The victim may not even realise it is happening because the abuse is often disguised as “love” or a way of “teaching them to be a better person”. This can make it difficult to take steps to stop the abuse. Thee longer emotional abuse continues, the more harmful it can be.

What are the signs?

The Abuser

1. Wants All The Control
– Makes all the decisions
– Acts very possessive
– Needs to win every argument
– Amy demand sex after an argument to “make up”

2. Discounts Feelings and Views
– Puts down, makes fun of or embarrasses the abused power
– Says the partners opinions are “stupid”
– Is jealous or critical of the partner’s friends and family
– Says the partner is “too sensitive” if she or he complains

3. Confused and Frightens the Partner
– Blames the partner or others for his or her anger.
– May be tender once moment and mad the next
– Uses threats or physical force
– May be reckless with alcohol, other drugs, or driving

Come back tomorrow to know the signs of the abused.

39 Comments Add yours

  1. DiosRaw says:

    Greatly written post, very informative. 🌹

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Amber. Such subtle signs

      Liked by 3 people

      1. DiosRaw says:

        Yes subtle but important.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. GS says:

        True 💜

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Well… This is well written post with investigated facts any abuse is not good take care of yourself before you go around claiming to love someone only to abuse them

    Liked by 4 people

    1. GS says:

      I agree with you Vincent.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. eob2 says:

    These bullet points are all true and any one of these should raise a 🚩

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Exactly. Awareness is key

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Carol anne says:

    I think this is a good post, and thanks for highlighting this topic! Xx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Most welcome Carol. Emotional abuse is so common that it considered normal often. Awareness is the first step.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Dragthepen says:

    This post brings back the sad memories of being in a domestic violence situation. Thankful I got out and never looked back

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      I am sorry. It was not my intention to bring back old memories. Hope you feel better.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Dragthepen says:

        No. Need to apologise. I am over that situation for years.

        Liked by 3 people

      2. GS says:

        You are brave. 💙💙
        Thank you for sharing your experience with us !!

        Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for the reblog

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Always a joy and pleasure to read and share your posts with followers, My Dear! Have a great day!! xoxox 😘💕🎁🌹

        Liked by 3 people

      2. GS says:

        💙💙

        Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      Emotional and mental abuse involves a person acting in a way to control, isolate, or scare somebody else. Awareness is key.

      Liked by 3 people

  6. 88l says:

    Emotional abuse is hard, it will have u questioning whether u are sane or not. My ex made me hate myself and question my friendships and what people thought of me. I lost myself quite a bit. Thank fully I’m on the mend! X

    Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Ah I am so glad it is an “ex” aren’t you?

      Liked by 3 people

      1. 88l says:

        Yes I am, let’s hope it stays that way x

        Liked by 3 people

      2. GS says:

        Yes 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Laura Manville says:

    This is such an important topic. Thank you for blogging about it and being truthful. Emotional abuse is so damaging. It can take years, even decades, to understand what it is, that you lived through it. Trauma carries down from generation to generation. The next generation usually tries to do better…. but they carry down the dysfunction and abusive behavior. Thus, I believe that there a whole lot of people who have been emotionally abused and have NO idea. They suffer – they don’t know why. At least I do. I can heal, and I am.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      I couldn’t agree more Laura. You are on point. The question then becomes, “Why would that person go along with and even support such behavior?” The answer is codependency, and quite often the reason is emotional abuse. The emotionally abused find themselves in codependent relationships because of a desire to be needed, even if the need is to provide the next drink.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Laura Manville says:

        GS – Oh boy. You got that right. I learned codependent behavior from family. I was talking about my parents. They both grew up in extremely abusive homes. Mom’s was abusive and alcoholic, Dad’s was abusive. They both had severe trauma, which means CPTSD. 

        That gets carried down and you are dysfunctional if you don’t know or don’t process your trauma. No one knew about CPTSD back then. I’m 52. They did the best they could. We had everything we needed. My parents weren’t perfect. Dad was awesome, but he had an unpredictable temper and was very demanding. My mom is sweet and funny, but controlling. They both wanted everything perfect for us because their lives were SO hard. Perfect isn’t possible. It puts a lot of pressure on you.

        I ended up with severe depression and CPTSD. I think it’s because of generational trauma plus my very gentle disposition when I was a child. I wasn’t perfect, in fact, I wasn’t like anyone else. I’m quirky, I really like being alone, so I’m an introvert, and never had a whole lot of friends. My mom didn’t approve of me being different. Heck…. I was just being who I was. Well…. because of that, being bullied, and never fitting in anywhere, I’ve always felt like I’ll never be good enough. My dad was fine with me, he didn’t care. He loved me for me. My mom is more concerned about how things look to other people. I don’t care now. But…. her trauma carried down to me, I took it on, and feel exactly like she does…. unworthy. Low self-esteem. Mean inner critic. Hate myself. Blah blah. 

        I’ve had depression for 27 years. It’s been a long battle. It wasn’t until the last six months that I found a really good group of people who are helping me understand my childhood trauma so I can resolve that and heal. I live with my mom. We are working on our relationship.

        It is really nice. I don’t expect to be happy. I think that is a useless word that’s misunderstood and casually thrown around by Americans – since we refuse to accept we HAVE emotions – and it makes us miserable. I want to find peace. Simply let go of struggling with my mind or any labels I’ve been given. I didn’t know I could do that. When you look for a different way…. the Universe (God) opens the door. 

        Yes….. I used to be needed because I was so seriously codependent I wanted to “fix” everyone. That included dating, and marry, men I could “fix.” When they didn’t want to listen to me, I got pretty angry. I had to deal with managing my temper. I wasn’t very good at it. Now I know I am only responsible for myself. I am also working on getting my mom to let go of “parenting” me. She is. I am surprised, actually, but yes, she is. Cuz I need her to let go so I have space to grow. When I grow – I thrive. 

        Liked by 2 people

      2. GS says:

        Thank you Laura for sharing your story with us. I am completely understand where you are coming from. I will keep it at that 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. sunith83 says:

    GS – Wow! Having been a victim of the god damn emotional abuse my entire life, this post came out as a blessing to me. You know, the sad thing here is No emotional abuse is ever seen as one and no emotional abuse is ever given its true importance. Once you lose all your freedom, feel uptight and suffocated, that is when you start to understand that its better late than never to walk out of a few places, than standing around moping. Well, I have held my head high and walked out on many things. I project clarity when I talk to anybody and ensure that I don’t cross a line and do not let another cross a line when it comes to forming friendships or relationships.

    Loved your Post! Keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you Sunith for sharing your story with us here.! You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with physical wounds. But emotional abuse can be just as damaging—sometimes even more so.

      Like

      1. sunith83 says:

        Absolutely. I cannot agree more. Thank you for your reply.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Glad you agree.

        Like

  9. AwareAura says:

    Yes, I’ve been through all of this and it definitely lead to physical violence. Thank you for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Most welcome. Glad you see all empowered now.

      Like

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