Regardless of your ideological views or political persuasion, these are turbulent times around the world. I’ve noticed a sense of angst, heightened anxiety, and a palpable change in how people treat each other personally and professionally. It’s time to get back to what distinguishes us as human beings – treating one another with compassion, dignity, and respect. Even those with whom we disagree the most deserve to be treated with care. We moved around the triangle until one of us moves out and into a clear and healthy communication pattern. Be the one. Be the change you want in the conversation.
Let’s look at the Rescuer (Saviour) in the conversation :
- “You need my help”
- “You’re not okay but I am nice and will fix you”
- Provides you support when doesn’t want to.
- Feels guilty and anxious if doesn’t rescue.
- Feels connected when victim of dependent.
- Rescuing creates sense of being capable.
- Often expects to fall in rescue mission.
How to Move to coach with clear support :
- Give the message – “I care about you and I know you are capable.”
- Do nothing that thee other can do for him or herself – “I know you can do this.”
- Active Listen – “I am willing to listen to your problem without making it mine to solve.
- State boundaries – “I am willing to listen for twenty minutes.”
- Provide Choices – “I will listen for fifteen minutes now or you may call back next Tuesday. You choose.”
Hope this helped.