Does the person you hate deserve to be carried around in your heart? Keep in your heart only those who love you. If you carry around with you people you hate, it causes only angst and depression.

In your relationships, assume you will need to give more than you receive. We remember so well what we have done for others but easily forget what others have done for us. Even if you feel you are owed a little, it’s likely you have received close to what you have given. Seeing that I am a monk, some people put their palms together in greeting, and I involuntarily do the same. Some nod, and I involuntarily do the same. Humans are like mirrors: We reflect each other.

When a wise person wants something from others, she first does what she desires from them, exemplifying rather than asking for it. If you want a friend to remember your birthday, remember hers first. If you want your husband to give you a massage, give him a massage first. If you want your children to watch less TV, turn off your TV first. Don’t just wait for what you want to happen. Act first.

Excerpt From: Haemin Sunim. “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down: How to Be Calm and Mindful in a Fast-Paced World”. Apple Books.