Rebuilding Trust

Broken trust must be repaired and rebuilt if a relationship is to have a chance of surviving it. This requires both the willingness and the ability to do so. It’s crucial to remember that shattered trust can occur in a variety of contexts and is not just a result of adultery. A history of broken promises, cruel words or deeds, failing to think or care how others will be affected by one’s actions, saying or doing something hurtful, and other factors can all lead to shattered trust.

Here are a few options that can be used to rebuild trust in a relationship :

  • Identify and take ownership of the behaviours that broke trust.
  • Demonstrate awareness and accountability in how your actions impacted the other person.
  • Apologise specifically for your role in the situation without justifying, blaming, or making excuses.
  • Engage in open and honest communication about the situation, what led to it, and what will be done differently going forward.
  • Ensure actions are consistently aligning with words (if you say you’ll do something, no matter how small, you must follow through).
  • Be intentionally forthcoming with information that you know is important to the other person.
  • Avoid displaying defensiveness or irritability when you are asked follow-up questions or for clarification.
  • Allow yourself and the other person time to work through these feelings without trying to force repair to take place.
  • Recognise that rebuilding trust does not require a violation of your own boundaries.

Broken trust does not just go away and will have to be dealt with in one way to another. The choice is yours. Broken trust does not have to be the end of a relationship, but only if you’re willing to take the required steps to repair.


6 Comments Add yours

  1. My daughter hasn’t talked to me for three months!
    I’m deployed so all I can do is text her.
    I message her often with love, support, funny things, and so on. I apologized and she told her mom she was considering replying but that was a month ago!
    Is there anything else I should be doing?? 😪😪

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      I am sorry this is happening specially when you are so far away. I am sure she is physically safe even though mentally distanced. Kids deliberately ignore you because it makes them feel in charge and in control. They feel powerful and like they are flexing their muscles when they pretend not to hear you. Determine what’s important to you as a parent and what’s important to your child, is what I advise. You should be aware that if your child gives you the silent treatment, it is likely his best available problem-solving technique at the time. Simply put, by engaging in this passive-aggressive behaviour, he is attempting to address the current problem. Take care and stay safe. Everything will turn out fine.


  2. Lori says:

    This is very good advice. Thank you for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Most welcome Lori

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Honeypurply says:

    This was interesting I have been trying to do this with my parents to resolves our issues. It is all perfect but it is much better than in the past especially when they would try to justify why they did such an such which was frustrating because clearly they wouldn’t understand it doesn’t matter why they did this they hurted me. I am it is a bit sad I had to be the one searching for those tools and not the adult in my life but oh well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Hope you find some inspiration from this post. Let’s keep in mind that our parents our humans too and they do what they think is the best or what they thought was the best at that time.

      Liked by 1 person

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