Broken trust must be repaired and rebuilt if a relationship is to have a chance of surviving it. This requires both the willingness and the ability to do so. It’s crucial to remember that shattered trust can occur in a variety of contexts and is not just a result of adultery. A history of broken promises, cruel words or deeds, failing to think or care how others will be affected by one’s actions, saying or doing something hurtful, and other factors can all lead to shattered trust.
Here are a few options that can be used to rebuild trust in a relationship :
- Identify and take ownership of the behaviours that broke trust.
- Demonstrate awareness and accountability in how your actions impacted the other person.
- Apologise specifically for your role in the situation without justifying, blaming, or making excuses.
- Engage in open and honest communication about the situation, what led to it, and what will be done differently going forward.
- Ensure actions are consistently aligning with words (if you say you’ll do something, no matter how small, you must follow through).
- Be intentionally forthcoming with information that you know is important to the other person.
- Avoid displaying defensiveness or irritability when you are asked follow-up questions or for clarification.
- Allow yourself and the other person time to work through these feelings without trying to force repair to take place.
- Recognise that rebuilding trust does not require a violation of your own boundaries.
Broken trust does not just go away and will have to be dealt with in one way to another. The choice is yours. Broken trust does not have to be the end of a relationship, but only if you’re willing to take the required steps to repair.
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