No man is an island. No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others. This saying comes from a sermon by the seventeenth-century English author John Donne. Returns in relationship is very important. I mean, we can go on and on about how one should not expect someone else to make them happy etc etc….but the truth is in the age of social media we might have large networks but few if any real relationships.
Of-course when in love, we have to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. But hey, this should be not done at the cost of your own happiness at any cost. Understanding what you want and what you expect out of a relationship does not make you selfish. But you have to be willing to accept that one other person may not be able to fulfill your every relationship need. We aren’t saints, after all. But you are not selfish for expecting fundamental relationship needs out of your partner. These needs might be different than someone else’s, but no matter what relationship, both partners have to be willing to do two things: prioritize and communicate.
What I am trying to say is, the most important return on relationships is to get your emotional needs met and experience your best possible relationship! So, what emotional needs are we talking about? Emotional needs vary from person to person, but the most common emotional needs are appreciation, understanding, being heard, acknowledgment and respect. All of these needs represent a particular manner in which we show and express love. Mutually meeting emotional needs in any relationship fosters intimacy, trust and a feeling of great satisfaction. On the other hand, the opposite of meeting emotional needs — criticism, undermining, minimizing and disrespect — all cause separation, resentment and a lack of trust. When we understand this dynamic, we are immediately empowered to improve any relationship.
Thoughts? Feel free to leave a comment.