A simple, laugh-worthy guide to facial massages that make you glow (with a little help from Amazon)

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I have a confession: I used to think facial massages were just something influencers did between sipping green juice and rearranging their crystals. But then one morning, I caught myself in the bathroom mirror — coffee in one hand, existential dread in the other — and noticed a suspicious crease near my mouth. It wasn’t dramatic, but it whispered, “You might want to hydrate… and maybe lift me up a bit?”

That’s when I discovered the world of simple, at-home facial massages. No spa visits. No fancy appointments. Just your hands, a good oil, and five minutes of daily self-care that feels like a mini-vacation. And the best part? The tools you need are all right on Amazon — because let’s be honest, that’s where our paychecks go to retire.

Step 1: The “I Slept Weird” Morning Massage

You know that puffy, slightly crumpled look you get after a restless night? This one’s for that.

Start with a lightweight oil or serum — I swear by the Bio-Oil Skincare Oil (Amazon’s got it in every size imaginable). Warm a few drops in your palms and press them into your face like you’re saying, “It’s okay, we’re doing our best.”

Now, using your fingertips, sweep upward from your chin to your temples. It’s not about pressure; it’s about direction. Upward = lifted. Downward = gravity wins. I do this while my coffee brews — by the time it’s ready, so is my face.

Bonus tip: Keep a stainless-steel roller (like the ESARORA Ice Roller) in your freezer. Roll it gently over your face for 60 seconds, and watch your puffiness retreat faster than your motivation on a Monday.

Step 2: The “Zoom Face” Fix

Let’s talk about the face we make during Zoom calls — that slightly tense, overly engaged look that screams, “I swear I’m listening.” Over time, it tightens the jaw and makes our lower face look heavier.

When I sign off for the day, I grab my Jade Roller & Gua Sha Set (you can find gorgeous ones on Amazon from brands like Mount Lai or Deciniee) and do a two-minute “Zoom detox.”

• Roll from the chin along your jawline toward your ears — it helps drain fluid and tension.

• Then take the gua sha tool and gently glide it from the neck upward, following your natural contours.

It’s like erasing eight hours of “nod and smile” energy. I swear, it even helps me unclench emotionally.

Step 3: The “Evening Netflix Wind-Down” Massage

This one’s my favorite because it’s lazy-friendly. While watching TV (and pretending you’ll only watch one episode), grab your favorite facial massage wand or even the Foreo Bear Mini microcurrent device if you’re feeling fancy.

Apply a hydrating serum — the Neutrogena Hydro Boost Hyaluronic Acid Serum is an affordable classic — and use gentle upward strokes along your cheeks and forehead.

The trick is to do it slowly. Think of it as convincing your face to chill out. When I first tried it, I felt ridiculous — but halfway through an episode of The Office, I realized my jaw wasn’t tight, my skin looked glowier, and I was… happy. It’s honestly wild how something this simple changes your mood.

Step 4: The “Let’s Look Awake” Eye Massage

Even with 8 hours of sleep (which, let’s be real, never happens), I wake up looking like I wrestled my pillow. Puffy eyes are my daily nemesis.

Here’s my go-to fix: I use the Revlon Cooling Eye Roller with a drop of caffeine eye cream — The INKEY List Caffeine Eye Cream is under $15 and a lifesaver.

Roll gently from the inner corner of your eye outward, like you’re smoothing away last night’s regrets. Then, with your ring finger, tap lightly around the orbital bone. It stimulates blood flow and feels oddly comforting — like a pep talk for your face.

Ten minutes later, I actually look alive enough to open my camera without panicking.

Step 5: The “Sunday Reset” Deep Facial Lift

Sundays are for laundry, bad decisions (hello, delivery food), and self-care. I use that time to give myself a full facial massage with The Ordinary 100% Organic Cold-Pressed Rose Hip Seed Oil — it smells divine and makes me feel like I have my life together.

Start at your neck, move upward, and spend extra time around your cheeks and temples. It’s almost meditative. Sometimes I’ll pop on my Kitsch Ice Roller after and pretend I’m in a fancy spa, not surrounded by laundry piles.

If you’re consistent, this weekly ritual genuinely firms up your skin. And you’ll start noticing how your face feels lighter — like you’ve hit “refresh” on yourself.

Why It Actually Works

There’s real science behind this. Facial massage increases circulation, which boosts collagen and gives you that post-facial glow. It also helps lymphatic drainage, which reduces puffiness — so your face looks sculpted, not swollen.

But what I love most is how it turns self-care into a daily ritual that feels indulgent, not forced. You’re not just chasing youth; you’re investing in a calmer, more connected version of yourself.

Adding a Little Routine to the Chaos

Here’s the thing: you don’t need to overhaul your skincare. These massages slip right into what you already do. Wash your face? Add 2 minutes of upward strokes. Watching Netflix? Bring out the roller. Scrolling Amazon for random things you don’t need? Maybe add a gua sha set to your cart while you’re there.

I like to think of it as a tiny rebellion against stress and aging — one that fits right between your morning emails and your late-night snack.

Let’s Stay Connected (and Glowing)

If you’re into little rituals that make you feel like you again — things that help your body, mind, and face — you’ll love my new newsletter.

It’s where I share bite-sized wellness tips, funny real-life stories, and the small habits that actually make a difference. Think of it as a weekly chat between friends — one where we swap what’s working, what’s not, and maybe which Amazon gadget made us feel 10 years younger.

You can sign up [here] (insert link) — because you deserve to feel amazing without needing a 20-step skincare routine or a second mortgage for spa visits.

Before You Go

Try one of these massages tonight — just one. Then look in the mirror tomorrow morning. You’ll see it — that subtle lift, that tiny glow, that something different.

And when you do, come back and tell me. I’d love to hear what worked for you — because the truth is, none of us are trying to look perfect. We’re just trying to look like the best version of ourselves… and maybe confuse our mirrors a little.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I may earn from qualifying purchases, but this does not affect my recommendations.I only suggest products I’ve personally vetted.

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