Detaching yourself from others’ behaviors is great, in theory, but it’s a difficult thing to actually do. It takes a lot of personal strength and mental bravery to recognize that you can be happy and positive no matter what other people do. It’s completely possible — it’s just hard. I mean how can you have a good relationship with someone and not care what they do?? How can you remain unaffected with whatever your loved ones do?
But psychologist say that by not caring, we can stop trying to change those we love. We can fully accept them for who they are and, as a result, be at peace with whatever they do. This will give you peace of mind and will let the other person has his peace of mind too.
So how do we go about it? Well, I have a few personal favourites that I would like to share here:
/ Remember that you are powerless over others. No matter what you would like to believe, you have zero control over others. Realize this and you will free yourself from a lot of mental anguish.
/ Focus on the positive things about yourself. Sometimes when we’re dealing with an upsetting behavior, we forget to focus on the positive things about ourselves — like our strength or our resilience. Remind yourself of your awesomeness.
/ Find your own unique sources of happiness. Relying 100% on one person is a big no-no when it comes to having a happy relationship. It’s key to find some activities/people you can enjoy outside of the relationship you have with a significant other and/or family member.
The idea of “live and let live” is a tough one to abide by. In theory it sounds great, but it’s hard to keep it in mind when you’re dealing with loved ones who, let’s face it, can drive you crazy at times. It’s incredibly difficult not to be influenced by the people we surround ourselves with and, unfortunately, we can’t always choose who we have around us. And, for that reason, we have to make the most of the relationships in our lives. It’s tempting to be critical and to want to change others, but remember that change must come from within and it’s not up to us to change other people.