I don’t know what it means to feel anymore.
I want to feel love. I want to feel excitement. I want to feel happiness where I can throw my head back and laugh completely. Life has become a vicious task of interacting with people for the sake of social integration. I can’t seem to stay interested in things people do or say. I started on the quest of finding my own passions, but nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. Almost everything is only interesting for a few instances, and then becomes boring and monotonous.
Even MAJOR life events don’t seem to register the same feeling they once did. Looking at fancy cars don’t bring in the same joy. Emotional turbulence, Maybe? Anxiety, hell YES. That constant jittery feeling in the centre just below the chest, hmmm.
I want to feel emotions again, but at the moment nothing will set me off. People say take it easy. Can’t do, the anxiety is killing.
Should happiness or pleasure be the desires in life? I mean look around you, who is happy anyways, maybe they are all faking it at some level. I just hope whatever it is, this phase, it passes soon.
Do you feel like that too?