Improve Conversations


Do you ever run out of things to say? It’s a common fear and an icky feeling we’ve all experienced. You start a conversation with someone, it’s all going well and then before you know it, the dialogue has gone stale and any banter you once had has ground to a halt.

The solution: Keep the conversation moving forwards in a natural flowing state whereby conversation topics crop up organically. Here are certain tips which might be helpful :

  • You are not the only one responsible to keep talking. Stop thinking the onus is all on you to do the talking. Try to switch your thinking on this. In fact the key to keeping a conversation going is not talking but listening. Think about it, if you listen and take on board what your partner is saying, you’ve got topics to keep the conversation going landing in your lap the whole time. So shut up and listen.
  • Starters. Having some conversation topics prepared beforehand is essential. They give you a fall back plan if there’s a silencer. Try asking thoughtful open questions rather than questions that require “Yes” or “No” answers. Most people are happy talking about themselves and their interests. So look and listen to clues about the person and comment on them. This should help the conversation to come naturally and should also make the other person feel at ease.
  • Stop being anxious. It’s natural to think about what you’re going to say before you say it. Don’t “over-check” though. You’ve probably heard of the saying “analysis, paralysis” If you think too hard about what you’re going to say before you make a comment, you’ll end of literally talking yourself out of it. You’ll also get distracted and struggle to listen because you’re concentrating on yourself too much.
  • Communicate Positivity. Good eye contact is the key to conveying interest, concern, warmth and credibility when the other person is speaking. Bad eye contact does exactly the opposite and can be hard to retrieve. It’s natural to look away on occasions while you’re talking. People expect this while you’re thinking. Smiling also helps. A simple smile is a powerful cue that transmits friendliness, warmth and approachability.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. jjhiii24 says:

    One of the best ways to become better at conversations is to actually engage people in them face-to-face. We seem to spend so little time these days actually engaging others directly, and it is difficult to see how anyone could improve their skills without practice!

    I recommend reading “Conversationally Speaking,” by Alan Garner as a great way to get started honing your skills and getting familiar with techniques that can help improve conversational skills. There’s only so much you can gain in reading about how to get better at it, and putting down your phone and other devices and actually sitting together with another human being and talking is actually a much better method.

    There’s lots of interesting posts here and I’m going to follow along with the others to see what you come up with going forward too.

    Thanks for your interest in my blog and for stopping by to visit!

    Regards….John H.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      🙏🏼 Thank you for stopping by.


  2. I love it! the key to good conversation is listening!! I think im going to steal that one! thanks for posting

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      Its my favourite Christina. Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is also a great one to read for tips on improving your listening skills (and, in fact, how you build relationships in general). Stephen’s advice stresses the importance of being nonjudgmental and not making assumptions when listening to others. He also talks about empathic listening—understanding your conversation partner fully, rather than seeing what they talk about through your own point of view.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. thank you for this! im a relationship coach and I work a lot on effective communication. This is really helpful for me. I’ll checkout the book !! cheers

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      I agree Christina. The most popular myth about communication in relationships is that since you talk to your partner, you’re automatically communicating. While talking to your partner is indeed a form of communication, if it’s primarily about everyday, “surfacey” topics (“How were the kids?” “How was work?” “How’s your mother?”), you’re not really communicating about the important stuff. This article is primarily about how to talk in a more open and rewarding manner with your significant other.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.