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Self Esteem Killers

Your self-esteem is influenced by how much you value yourself for what you are, that is your self-worth and not what or how much material possessions you have. Your self-worth comes from within you, and is not dependent on others for it. Your self-worth is not less than another person’s who can do something which you can’t. Self-worth arises from your own thorough evaluation of yourself to identify and confirm the values that are intrinsic to your nature and character.

Here are a few ways in which we all sabotage our self esteem sometimes knowingly and sometime unknowingly :

  • Negativity – It’s the first thing you need to deal with. You must stamp it out. I cannot stress this enough. It’s contagious too. The truth is we can all be positive for an hour, a day, or even a week. It’s staying positive that’s hard. It involves training your brain to recognise, react and deal with negative thoughts. It’s essential negative thoughts before they spiral out of control. Negativity will happily overtake your desire to be more confident and boost your self -esteem.
  • Self Worth – Do you spend countless hours wishing you could fix yourself? Maybe you think; my nose is too big, I am too fat, I am boring. Do you seek approval for everything you do? Maybe you convince yourself that you are not worthy of your friends or that you don’t deserve to be happy. There’s only one answer to this (And there’s no getting out of it if you want to move forward and build your self esteem) you’ll need to learn to have self-love. That can be a really scary thought for some people and one of the hardest challenges they face on their journey. You’ll need to work hard at this if you want to move on. The truth is that unless you take charge of yourself you will be your own worst enemy.
  • Self Doubt – Too many very capable people lack faith in their own abilities. This stops them doing the things that they really want to do. The main reason for this? A fear of failure. The thought of getting it wrong is enough to stop them doing it. Self doubt usually stems from someone else. A parent or teacher perhaps. A seed is sown, often in childhood. That seed grows and raises its head whenever a challenge arises. Fearing failure is not all bad. A little self doubt can be a good thing. It can increase the amount of effort you are willing to exert to achieve your goal. It can actually spur you on if you allow it to.


18 replies »

  1. A little self doubt can be a good thing. It can increase the amount of effort you are willing to exert to achieve your goal. It can actually spur you on if you allow it to.

    Very nice.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Each of us has an inner critic which identifies and highlights the negative aspects of the things that we do. If you fail to challenge your inner critic, it becomes very easy for you to accept and believe all of the negativity. However, when you take the time to challenge your inner critic, you soon realise that much of the negativity is based on assumptions which are unproven and untrue. Thanks Toni.

      Liked by 2 people

      • (Great comments Garima)
        Narcissists have little obvious self esteem issues. Why? Because they spend little time on introspection of self. Delphi Oracle Temple legendary inscription “Know Thy Self”, is very true. However excessive introspection will not separate adequately important revelations from lesser ones. Know thyself, observe your impact on those who love you, Treasure and Bond with the days you feel wonderful and good about yourself. There is always more sunshine outside your mind. Love, Jim

        Liked by 3 people

      • Thank you Jim for sharing your thoughts. The world is constantly changing around us and in a phrase that can still apply in a completely different world, this is proof that introspection will remain as important now as it was then.
        Consider a time when you wanted to do something outside of your limits and were ignorant to learn the methods of whatever it might be.
        There is no penalty in doing what you have no experience in. But to give meaning in the effort of doing so is to know thyself well enough to see an advantage in gaining the experience. Our courage is constantly tested and our motivation ever struggling.


    • Yes Neha, it’s the essence to life. Take time each day to practise appreciation for all of the good things in your life. Those with low self-esteem often fail to recognise all of the good things in their life, including their achievements. When appreciating, take the time not only to recognise the good but also to understand how you benefit from it

      Liked by 1 person

  2. When we work on changing our negative thoughts we should replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.We should think on that positive thought and speak it out loud. It helps to reinforce those positive thoughts when you first wake as your blog posts suggests.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Kim. The key to starting the process is to recognize that self-esteem, self-love, self-worth—whatever you feel drawn to calling it—is a seed that grows if you water it.


  3. If you don’t believe in yourself the odds are that no one else will either. We certainly need to be self critical, but only for the purpose of being better tomorrow. There are times when we fail — it’s inevitable, but it’s important to maintain that core self confidence. Self doubt kills creativity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A strong belief in yourself can bring you all these benefits and more: ​You recognise your ability to accomplish goals. ​You’re optimistic about the future as you set goals and achieve them. ​Deep down inside, you know you can do anything. Thank you Syd

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Gere. We look for love, yet underestimate the importance of self-love. But we can only receive as much love as we give to ourselves. We’ll deflect or guard love that doesn’t resonate with us — like a compliment we don’t believe. The opposite is also true. We’ll allow others to abuse you a bit less than we abuse ourselves. So if we desire lasting love, we must learn to love ourselves, because our relationships mirror our relationship with ourselves. Self-love is more than an abstraction. It determines our happiness.


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