Overcoming Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity occurs when you or your partner become emotionally connected with someone outside of your relationship, either in person or on the Internet.

One way of looking at emotional infidelity is that it is very dangerous, because it not only takes away time and energy from the marriage, but it can lead to sexual infidelity and possibly to the end of marriage. Another way of looking at it is that it is a symptom of problems that already exist within a marriage.

Here are few tips that will help you to overcome infidelity. Give your relationship another chance.

Talk to Each Other

  • Talk about your feelings. It reduces tension, anger, frustration, and calms you down in general.
  • Take turns listening. Despite your anger or feelings of shame and guilt, listen to what your partner has to say.
  • Tell the truth. Full disclosure is very important if you want to regain your partner’s trust. But don’t make comparisons: they will only hurt your partner.
  • Keep it personal. When you open up, talk about how you felt and don’t accuse your partner. Accusations won’t bring you closer together.

Acceptance

  • Accept the past. It’s a difficult step to take, but worth it. The past can’t be changed. However, the present and future can, so focus on them.
  • Accept each others emotions. The both of your have emotions and need to express them in order to move on. Allow your partner to do this. Don’t argue, but accept what is being said.
  • Accept professional help if you need it. A professional can help you understand why things happened and bring you back together.
  • Rebuild trust. You can only rebuild when you do this together. Stick to your promises, keep your word, and back your words with actions.

Do Things Together

  • Do things you both like. By doing things together you understand again how much fun you guys had, and why you are together in the first place.
  • Make an effort. Be interested in your partner and pay attention to the things he or she tell you. By making an effort to grow closer to each other again.
  • Have a laugh. Try to set aside your frustration or anger, and allow yourself to have fun with your partner again.
  • Develop more intimacy. Infidelity is almost never about sex. Infidelity is about needs that haven’t been met. So listen to each other and explore each other’s needs.

Looking Past Your Emotions

  • Give your partner a chance. If your partner and what you have it worth fighting for, then give your partner a chance to make it up to you.
  • See past your emotions. Focus on your partner and all the good things you guys did. You’ll see that there are much more feelings present than just the anger, frustration and sadness.

Professional Help

  • Sometimes overcoming emotional infidelity seems impossible because of all the damage that has been done. Professional help can guide you guys through that difficult and painful process.

Reference : https://barendspsychology.com/emotional-infidelity/

17 Comments Add yours

  1. Emotional infidelity I still do not know if there is such a thing wikipedia describes infidelity as a phsical thing. – Infidelity (synonyms include: cheating, straying, adultery (when married), being unfaithful, or having an affair) is a violation of a couple’s assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity. I dont see how you can do this emotionally. We live in an interconnected world where we are faithful to a contract with a partner but that does not mean we then do not interact and treat others unfairly or less well just as a means of proof to a loved one that we love them more. We spend more time at work than we do at home except if you now work at home so we do not love our loved ones any less for the fact that we must work with others and have relationships with other in an interconnected world. As a single person I can be equally damaging to someone if I choose to cheat with someone elses partner.

    Like

    1. Garima says:

      Do emotional affairs always turn physical? The short answer is No! Most people who experience emotional infidelity or an emotional affair were looking for empathy and understanding. It is rarely the case that someone had set out to find someone to only be physical with.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Totally agree with your point!!! Recently watched a series called “Mentalhood” where I first heard about “emotional affair” and I was like, that is totally possible!

        Like

      2. Garima says:

        Yes indeed. Moms are not just family but lifeline and above all a person in most of our life which made us what we are today. This three letter word is pure Emotion. Any series or movie surrounding her surely evoke interest and any flaws are even ignored and same it goes with this series. Its great to see my favourite Karishma Kapoor back in the industry.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. yeah!! I loved the series.. Karishma is as always flawless in it along with other amazing artists.

        Like

      4. Garima says:

        Ah Yes. She is graceful.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Good points!! πŸ™‚πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Garima says:

      Glad you liked it. Infidelity is also widespread. Current studies of American couples indicate that 20 to 40% of heterosexual married men and 20 to 25% of heterosexual married women will also have an extramarital affair during their lifetime.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Garima says:

        It is, isn’t it. Many people don’t know what it is which makes it difficult to identify. Most cases are brought to light when one person in the relationship is already scarred to life. Hence, we need to be more aware of such things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Garima says:

        Glad you agree.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. As for me, some burnt bridges are a bridge too far. Trust is never really redeemed, scars prove it.

    Like

  4. D.L.Fuller says:

    Garima, you have given some great advice here. A lot of the remedies you have indicated here involve repairing emotional disconnects which can compel one to seek intimacy outside of their marriage. At root, a disconnect is the presence of a barrier. Intimacy is a connection which generates a deep sense of knowing and being known between individuals. The sanctity of marriage is an exclusive version of this sharing which fulfills this deep sense of knowing. A barrier has been formed anytime a spouse feels this exchange is disrupted. Doing the work of finding this disruption is vital for the development of each person, as well as the relationship. Even if it is found that the connection cannot be restored, unto healing the relationship, the knowledge of what occurred can prevent future tragedy and help bring healing and closure. This work is fundamental to real love. As you stated, a firm commitment to open and honest communication, and a willingness on the part of each person to do the work of building their shared vision of an ideal relationship, goes a long way to avoiding these barriers. Unfortunately, many couples rush into relationships before mutual trust can even be established. People often pursue relationships based on displaced needs of validation and comfort. You truly need to be at peace with yourself before attempting to build a peaceful relationship sharing yourself with another person. Thanks for writing on this topic. People often think that romance produces intimacy, however the most powerful romance comes from the knowing intimacy produces.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Garima says:

      Basically, emotional affairs occur when one partner is channeling physical or emotional energy, time and attention into someone other than the person they are in a committed relationship with to the point that their partner feels neglected.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. handwclo says:

    Many times emotional infidelity is due to issues in the relationship that need to be addressed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      Yes most times that is the issue.

      Like

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