Charisma is often thought of as a compelling attractiveness or charm that certain people seem to possess, causing them to have this kind of magnetism that we can’t quite describe. Until now, no one has ever really broken it down for us or given us a roadmap for becoming more charismatic ourselves.
Here are a few ways which might help you become more charismatic :
- Use words that people can relate to. In his book, “Why President’s Succeed” University of California at Davis psychologist Dean Keith Simonton argues that the most effective communicators use concrete rather than abstract language. The most charismatic presidents reached an emotional connection with people talking not to their brains but to their gut.
- Express your feelings. Charismatic individuals express their feelings spontaneously and genuinely, Claremont McKenna College psychologist Ronald E. Riggio says, “This allows them to affect the moods and emotions of others.” It’s called emotional contagion, or “the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronise expressions.” So if you’re excited about something, other people will “catch” that excitement too.
- Talk about your potential – it’s more impressive than your accomplishments. A Stanford Harvard study suggests that accomplishments aren’t what capture people’s attention, rather, it’s a person perceived potential. This uncertainty appears to be more cognitively engaging than reflecting on what is already known to be true.
- Mirror the person you’re speaking to. Psychologists have found that when two people are getting along, they start to mirror each other’s bodies as a sign of trust and safety. Your date crosses their legs, so do you, you take a sip of water, so does your date. If you want to do better in a negotiation, the research says to mimic your opponent’s behaviour.
- Keep your hands and torso open to signal that you’re welcoming. Body language experts agree that posture speaks louder than words. Keeping your hands stuffed in your pockets and your shoulders turned inwards sends the signal that you’re not interested. But talking with your hands and standing in an open stance shows that you’re available.
- Bring a dog with you, since it makes you look nurturing. In a University of Michigan experiment, women read vignettes about men and found those who owned a dog to be more attractive. The researchers concluded that owning a pet singled that you are nurturing and capable of making long term commitments.
- Smile More. In two experiments, researchers in Switzerland examined that relationship between attractiveness and smiling. They found that the stronger the smile, the more attractive a face looked. In fact, a happy facial expression compensated for relative unattractiveness.
- Get people to talk about themselves. According to Harvard research, talking about yourself stimulates the same brain regions as sex or a good meal. When people talk about their experiences, they become more vulnerable to one another, and when they become more vulnerable to one another, they form a social bond and co-invest in one another’s welfare.
- Walk the same rate as other person – they’ll think you’re friendly. A Durham University study found that just a few steps were needed to give a sense of personality. Students equated looser gaits with introversion, while the more clipped walkers were seen as neurotic. A University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign study on walking speeds showed that guys match women’s walking paces if they’re attracted to them.