Reasons why health is not improving empress2inspire.blogPersonal Development

Why People Break Down

You may know someone who is depressed and not know they’re depressed. People expect someone who is depressed to cry a lot, stay in bed all day, mope. But depression isn’t always this obvious. Some people can totally fake it. They can smile and laugh; they can act like everyone else, even while they are in excruciating emotional pain. 

Here are a few reasons or risk factors. You might take them as why people break down :

  • They take everything personally.
  • They remember every criticism.
  • They react to every misfortune.
  • They hold grudges.
  • They dwell on painful memories.
  • They regret past mistakes.
  • They compare self to happier people.
  • They analyze everything until it loses its appeal.
  • They make decisions based on others advice.
  • They stop learning new skills.
  • They conclude that life is predictable.
  • They have a long explanation for everything.
  • They resent people who seem to have easier lives.
  • They focus on the cost not the opportunity.
  • They never verbalise their gratitude.
  • They fail to see a way out.

Do you recognise any of the above situations. Have you been in any of these situations. So what can you do to help people you love who are depressed, if you can’t tell they’re depressed? Ask questions very kindly and listen to the answers very carefully. Empathize with their emotional pain—even if you have to guess at what it might be. Let them know you are there to listen and understand for as long as it takes, and you aren’t taking no for an answer. Do you recognise any of the above situations. Have you been in any of these situations. It helps. Take Care of Yourself First.


54 replies »

  1. Wow that’s a big list. I could boil it down perhaps, but today there’s cake here and coffee, time on the laptop and a few moments to give you a long boring answer for a change: 1) but surely sometimes it’s good to take SOMETHINGS personally and that way you know who to be around and who to avoid. 2) Remembering is an autistic temperament, so yes every criticism AND EVERY PRAISE might be on the cards. 3) When do we not need to react to misfortunes? 4) To hold grudges sounds harsh, so I’m not sure the word grudge is helpful, perhaps better to say they’ve discernment and made choices (which is wisdom). 5) Those who dwell on painful memories best refer back to point two. 6) To regret past mistakes, well beloved don’t we all a little? 7) If we compare our self to happier people might we work out how to be happier using some of their template? 8) To analyse everything until it loses its appeal (can’t relate to that one at all sorry for i’m busy analysing this). 9) They make decisions based on others advice (not my style, but it’s sometimes it is good to get some advice, then make up our own mind). 10) To stop learning new skills, is that possible? 11) If only life was predictable and then it would really be boring! 12) They have a long explanation for everything, yes, that’s me right now! LOL. 13) To resent people who seem to have easier lives is just sad, poor buggers. 14) To focus on the cost and not the opportunity (again how sad). 15) They never verbalise their gratitude, perhaps that’s also an autistic thing. 16) To fail to see a way out is a dangerous place to be, but then I can see that number nine might be helpful and asking for advice from everyone on how to get out of a tricky place… When I read about empathy and giving this it is easy for some and not for others, for sometimes empathy is so very costly and you have to be prepared to pay the price.

    Liked by 6 people

    • We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present. Wise words you have here Aj. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Pia. We are never finished learning and growing; there is always work to be done, and so, breaking down isn’t a bad thing. Sure it’s not pleasant, and it’s not always graceful, but there’s beauty in breakdowns as well. If we didn’t have the ugly and unpleasant moments, we wouldn’t have the comparison for the really high, happy moments. The breakdowns give us contrast and show us where our work still lies and where we have room to grow.


  2. thanks for the like on my channel. And yes, a list of learned behaviors can make us susceptible for trouble, for depression and for conflict. There was a book I read called games people play. Done by some students in university they picked up on some engrained behaviors. They really seem to take over our lives.
    One example. “I got a problem and you cant solve it.” there are those, who will say something like oh my Husband is not handy and then let everyone tell a story of how they fixed it, sent their husband to a course or I bought him this book or his new friend has really helped. Each time being shot down, I tried that and it didn’t work. And some how they get self esteem by finding everyone wrong and unable answer properly.
    Us humans are so “interesting”. Thanks again for visiting my op on “I will find you”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, relatable in both directions, both with helping myself and other people.

    “Let them know you are there to listen and understand for as long as it takes, and you aren’t taking no for an answer.”

    That was encouraging, thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I suffer from BPD, when I’m on the high-cycle everyone else suffers from it. 😉 When I’m on the low-cycle the depression is excruciating and my caregivers have never found a medication that doesn’t cause an allergic reaction. Are there any non-medical remedies that are not fraudulent and are not trite advice like, “snap out of it”? Thanks for liking my post on De-Congesting Downtown. 🙂 VMK

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Vernon, thank you for sharing your story with us. Stress complicates bipolar disorder. Several alternative treatments aim to reduce anxiety and stress. These treatments include:
      1. massage therapy
      2. yoga
      3. acupuncture
      4. meditation
      Calming techniques can’t cure bipolar disorder. But they may help you manage your symptoms and be a valuable part of your treatment plan.

      Liked by 1 person

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