Reasons why health is not improving empress2inspire.blogPersonal Development

Why People Break Down

You may know someone who is depressed and not know they’re depressed. People expect someone who is depressed to cry a lot, stay in bed all day, mope. But depression isn’t always this obvious. Some people can totally fake it. They can smile and laugh; they can act like everyone else, even while they are in excruciating emotional pain. 

Here are a few reasons or risk factors. You might take them as why people break down :

  • They take everything personally.
  • They remember every criticism.
  • They react to every misfortune.
  • They hold grudges.
  • They dwell on painful memories.
  • They regret past mistakes.
  • They compare self to happier people.
  • They analyze everything until it loses its appeal.
  • They make decisions based on others advice.
  • They stop learning new skills.
  • They conclude that life is predictable.
  • They have a long explanation for everything.
  • They resent people who seem to have easier lives.
  • They focus on the cost not the opportunity.
  • They never verbalise their gratitude.
  • They fail to see a way out.

Do you recognise any of the above situations. Have you been in any of these situations. So what can you do to help people you love who are depressed, if you can’t tell they’re depressed? Ask questions very kindly and listen to the answers very carefully. Empathize with their emotional pain—even if you have to guess at what it might be. Let them know you are there to listen and understand for as long as it takes, and you aren’t taking no for an answer. Do you recognise any of the above situations. Have you been in any of these situations. It helps. Take Care of Yourself First.

94 replies »

  1. Wow that’s a big list. I could boil it down perhaps, but today there’s cake here and coffee, time on the laptop and a few moments to give you a long boring answer for a change: 1) but surely sometimes it’s good to take SOMETHINGS personally and that way you know who to be around and who to avoid. 2) Remembering is an autistic temperament, so yes every criticism AND EVERY PRAISE might be on the cards. 3) When do we not need to react to misfortunes? 4) To hold grudges sounds harsh, so I’m not sure the word grudge is helpful, perhaps better to say they’ve discernment and made choices (which is wisdom). 5) Those who dwell on painful memories best refer back to point two. 6) To regret past mistakes, well beloved don’t we all a little? 7) If we compare our self to happier people might we work out how to be happier using some of their template? 8) To analyse everything until it loses its appeal (can’t relate to that one at all sorry for i’m busy analysing this). 9) They make decisions based on others advice (not my style, but it’s sometimes it is good to get some advice, then make up our own mind). 10) To stop learning new skills, is that possible? 11) If only life was predictable and then it would really be boring! 12) They have a long explanation for everything, yes, that’s me right now! LOL. 13) To resent people who seem to have easier lives is just sad, poor buggers. 14) To focus on the cost and not the opportunity (again how sad). 15) They never verbalise their gratitude, perhaps that’s also an autistic thing. 16) To fail to see a way out is a dangerous place to be, but then I can see that number nine might be helpful and asking for advice from everyone on how to get out of a tricky place… When I read about empathy and giving this it is easy for some and not for others, for sometimes empathy is so very costly and you have to be prepared to pay the price.

    Liked by 6 people

    • We live in the age of distraction. Yet one of life’s sharpest paradoxes is that your brightest future hinges on your ability to pay attention to the present. Wise words you have here Aj. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Pia. We are never finished learning and growing; there is always work to be done, and so, breaking down isn’t a bad thing. Sure it’s not pleasant, and it’s not always graceful, but there’s beauty in breakdowns as well. If we didn’t have the ugly and unpleasant moments, we wouldn’t have the comparison for the really high, happy moments. The breakdowns give us contrast and show us where our work still lies and where we have room to grow.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. thanks for the like on my channel. And yes, a list of learned behaviors can make us susceptible for trouble, for depression and for conflict. There was a book I read called games people play. Done by some students in university they picked up on some engrained behaviors. They really seem to take over our lives.
    One example. “I got a problem and you cant solve it.” there are those, who will say something like oh my Husband is not handy and then let everyone tell a story of how they fixed it, sent their husband to a course or I bought him this book or his new friend has really helped. Each time being shot down, I tried that and it didn’t work. And some how they get self esteem by finding everyone wrong and unable answer properly.
    Us humans are so “interesting”. Thanks again for visiting my op on “I will find you”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, relatable in both directions, both with helping myself and other people.

    “Let them know you are there to listen and understand for as long as it takes, and you aren’t taking no for an answer.”

    That was encouraging, thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I suffer from BPD, when I’m on the high-cycle everyone else suffers from it. 😉 When I’m on the low-cycle the depression is excruciating and my caregivers have never found a medication that doesn’t cause an allergic reaction. Are there any non-medical remedies that are not fraudulent and are not trite advice like, “snap out of it”? Thanks for liking my post on De-Congesting Downtown. 🙂 VMK

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Vernon, thank you for sharing your story with us. Stress complicates bipolar disorder. Several alternative treatments aim to reduce anxiety and stress. These treatments include:
      1. massage therapy
      2. yoga
      3. acupuncture
      4. meditation
      Calming techniques can’t cure bipolar disorder. But they may help you manage your symptoms and be a valuable part of your treatment plan.

      Liked by 1 person

    • All people feel some degree of stress in their life at one time or another, but an emotional breakdown is different. When pressure begins to overwhelm an individual to the point where her professional or personal well-being is compromised, symptoms of a nervous breakdown may become apparent. Thank you for stopping by my blog.

      Like

  5. Awareness is key to overcoming/navigating any challenge. Thanks for putting this out there. A good many people often don’t think of themselves as “depressed” but after reviewing this list would discover there’s a good deal of self-healing that would benefit them-and those around them ;^)

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad you liked the post Ann. We are never finished learning and growing; there is always work to be done, and so, breaking down isn’t a bad thing. Sure it’s not pleasant, and it’s not always graceful, but there’s beauty in breakdowns as well. If we didn’t have the ugly and unpleasant moments, we wouldn’t have the comparison for the really high, happy moments. The breakdowns give us contrast and show us where our work still lies and where we have room to grow.

      Like

  6. మీరు తెలుగు చదవగలరా? తెలుగు blog link తెలుగు చదవగలిగిన వారికి పంప గలరా? నేనెప్పుడూ స్కూల్లలో తెలుగు నేర్చుకో లేదు. The road in the picture shows you live abroad, where the problem of people not being able to read their own languages is more. I also write an English blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That fact that from time to time you read my blog and I read yours is amazing. we live so far away from each other. I am in Ontario Canada and you are in India, it boggles the mind that only a hundred years or so ago we where using horses and trying to figure out the telegram.
      I think the spiritual wealth people can bring to the table will spread to the whole world now with no delay. And if there is a thousands of Christians blogging and their work is read by thousands, its Millions of more interactions than was ever possible.
      So if we sprinkle a little bible verse in here and there our effect will be even better.
      Romans 10:17

      Liked by 1 person

      • I had proposed some years ago at an inter-faith, undesranding meeting, that it must be made compulsory for everyone to study a religion other than his/her own and pass an examination in it before a degree is awarded. Every religion has some good points and all have same goal. We must learn to respect all of them and consider them equal. Proselytising has no place in today’s world. Hinduism believes in Vasudaiva kutumbakam (word is one family) & sarvojana sukhino bhavantu (let ALL people in the world be happy),

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have no problem with different religions having some different customs, but there is two that cant be left out, and makes Christianity the ONLY religion that must be a part of everyone’s life.
        1) no religion gives a means for total cleaning of a persons heart and a resurrection of the soul to life. Only Christianity through Jesus Christ has that. The salvation is gifted not obtained through personal growth.
        2) Love. the Christian faith holds the golden rule very high because it helps describe what love is. And as the christian faith explains all the laws previously made and made today amount to living out that love to others. These two things cannot be passed over. Other than that, do as you please stand however you want. wear funny hats, I don’t care, but to be Born again, OnLY Jesus and the Christian religion has the answers for that part of it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • You obviously believe in White Christian supremacy and proselytisation. You refuse to know about other religions, so telling you about all religions being same is futile. May Jesus bestow wisdom on you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • WAS or Catholic … whoever you are should know that though most Xians r not White, u feel superior to them, like the Rednecks who brought Trump to power. I lives in the US thrice and know what racism is.

        Liked by 2 people

  7. My guess about your being abroad is right. My Hindi and Marathi may not be good enough to write but I learnt enough Telugu at home to write stories (but my own book’s translation got published in Kannada and not Telugu) and was in English journalism since 1957. So I can translate blogs into Telugu. Please look out forTelugu audiobook software. One website, Dasubhashitam, is there but has too many bugs with reading jumping back to the starting point repeatedly. I switched over to audiobooks on Librivox and Audible after 4 years of ebooks, which I get from Toronto Public Library, Canada.

    Liked by 1 person

    • May I make a suggestion. You can start a new free site, from wordpress, then use google translate. Cut and past your articles through them and Poof, it will do the conversion for you.
      Yes, you will have to do a lot of cutting and pasting, and put your pictures back in. but that would be minor compared to the work otherwise.

      Also you can import from one site to the other. I just did it. I created a Evolution is a Hoax site a couple of nights ago, and moved one of my articles from Jesus Christ Is Salvation over to it.
      Once I did that, I then went and connected the two sites together under my avatar. And I have my Utube their as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Google translation at least into Indian languages is atrocious & would cause roaring laughter., especially when the issue is serious ideas. Telugu Church lingo in pronounciation alone said God you are an idiot, i am an old pot, when the original was God, u are supreme. i am a sinner.(దేవా నీవుత్త ముండవు‌ నేను పాత కుండను)

        Liked by 1 person

      • సరే, నేను భాష మాట్లాడలేకపోవచ్చు, కానీ Google Translate పని తగ్గుతుంది. దాన్ని చదివి ఎవరైనా రుజువు చెయ్యాలి. ఏమీ లేదన్నా మంచిది.

        Liked by 1 person

      • The sentence in Telugu in your reply means NOTHING. It says: “OK, I may not be able to speak Telugu. Bou it reduces work of Google Translate. Someone has to read and prove it. Though nothing, it is good.” What I said is PROVED.

        Liked by 1 person

    • its hard to know who is commenting to who here.
      All I know is, people can be racist. Lots and Lots of black people are extremely racist toward Whilte people. And to some degree I get it. The while people of America, which is a wide term enslaved a lot of black people which is also a wide term.
      Now their is a legacy of contempt.
      I am not of any group when it comes to race and I don’t Identify myself as a colour. I am a person, and I personally did not have anything to do with what someone else did.
      I think it was a white president that forced the end of slavery. who knew. Not everyone with a color on their skin is like the next person with color on their skin. White or black. Still we use Stereotypes and its unfortunate.
      When it comes to religions, everyone thinks they are right. And I see Some of Christianity and Judaism in other religions. This Idea of enlightenment, selflessness, following a creator. I just think beyond all the dressing, the historical Jesus is the focal point of all history and the main point all religions should adopt. His entrance to the world is of key importance.

      Some English people think that him being the Christ was a path to higher enlightenment. Unfortunately, there is a language barrier. Christ simply means messiah, not enlightened. It means he was the one who the Jews said would come to die for the sins of mankind. People cannot become Christ or evolve spiritually to a higher state of being. There was only one Christ being Jesus Christ. And historically his birth was just over 2019 years ago. We might be little Christs using a slang meaning we are imitators of him, and so many different religions could rise up, become more like Christ but only a Christian Doctrine of being born again, meaning Jesus gives the gift of eternal life to those who repent, could bring something to a point of enlightenment.

      I think Enlightenment just begins at the step of being Born Again. Jesus talks about it in the bible in John 3 and he hooks it up with a Old story about snakes biting people and Moses putting a snake on a pole so people would then look at it and get healed. Its in numbers 11. Anyways, Jesus is put on a pole and those who trust him for forgiveness, that he is dying being penalized for our sins, removes our sins from us. That is, anyone who says sorry and will commit to following his ways.

      I fully welcome other religions that will build on what it is to be a better human, more enlightened about Love and kindness and self awareness. But it starts with learning what Jesus did, repenting and then learning his views on what good living looks like.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. They’re frequently past victims of abuse or neglect.
    They may be locked in unhealthy power relationships.
    They could be facing multiple stressors with inadequate resources.
    They could be on drugs that damage their health and effect – whether or not a doctor prescribed them.
    Life sucks.

    It’s not always their fault you know.

    If you keep finding yourself in these situations consider whether you may be part of the problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We live in such a fast-paced society, where we are often so caught up in our work, families, maintaining our social lives, our studies and everything in between. It’s an understatement to say that life can get a little overwhelming at times. Given that it is mental health awareness month this October, now is as good as time as any to discuss the importance of mental health! As important as it is, to be looking after our planet, and ensuring its longevity and sustainability, it is equally important to be looking after our own.

      Like

  9. This is so true, I went through this laughing at work smiling all the time and then come home and be a totally different person. Finding a therapist and putting in the work to get better was the best thing I could have done for myself.

    Liked by 1 person

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