Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds?
Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight
‘Cause we’re scared to be lonely?
~ Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa – Scared To Be Lonely
Whenever we are reminded of this feeling or anticipate it in the future, we get a twinge of abandonment distress that we experience as loneliness. This can happen among a crowd of friends or even after making love. It can be pretty confusing and can put you off your game if you don’t know what’s going on.
Here are some tips for recognizing loneliness for what it is and dealing with it in the healthiest ways :
- Get the Facts Right – We all feel lonely sometimes. Remind yourself that life is full of ups and downs. Everyone has bad days when they feel isolated and lonely and everything seems to go wrong. Lie to yourself even if you can’t believe it that “It’s going to be Okay”.
- Lonely at Work : Loneliness does not just impact the person, it impacts the entire work environment. Chill. Put your head down and work. It’s okay of no one talks to you or when they do its boring small talk. Remember you are working for yourself and not to be liked.
- Lonely at Home : Visualise a happy place. Get a firm picture in your mind’s eye and feel a bit of happiness at the thought of being there. It helps, believe me.
- Get Out of the House : Get out and go places. Just the act of showing up at new places will lead to new connections and greatly reduce loneliness.
- Get Help : It’s okay. Many people need a little therapy to help them realise the underlying psychological reasons for their loneliness, depression and anxiety. This is perfectly normal.
- Take a Chill Pill : Nobody has it all figured out, believe me. Everyone pretends, everyone is lonely in one way or other. You are not alone. It is how it is supposed to be, so we might as well enjoy it. No one responsible for your happiness except you, yourself.
You have the power to offer loving kindness and generosity of spirit to all you come into contact with. It isn’t instinctual to be kind to strangers or people who scare you. But it is a choice. It is a choice that Jesus and Ghandi used intentionally. And in the long run it is a winning choice. The alternative, being mean or stingy with those you don’t know well, can get you a reputation as a Uncle Scrooge from Duck-tales.
Stay Happy and Be Happy Human!!!!