Tips To Not Feel Lonely

Is it just our bodies? Are we both losing our minds? 
Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight 
‘Cause we’re scared to be lonely? 

~ Martin Garrix & Dua Lipa – Scared To Be Lonely

Whenever we are reminded of this feeling or anticipate it in the future, we get a twinge of abandonment distress that we experience as loneliness. This can happen among a crowd of friends or even after making love. It can be pretty confusing and can put you off your game if you don’t know what’s going on.

Here are some tips for recognizing loneliness for what it is and dealing with it in the healthiest ways :

  • Get the Facts Right – We all feel lonely sometimes. Remind yourself that life is full of ups and downs. Everyone has bad days when they feel isolated and lonely and everything seems to go wrong. Lie to yourself even if you can’t believe it that “It’s going to be Okay”.
  • Lonely at Work : Loneliness does not just impact the person, it impacts the entire work environment. Chill. Put your head down and work. It’s okay of no one talks to you or when they do its boring small talk. Remember you are working for yourself and not to be liked.
  • Lonely at Home : Visualise a happy place. Get a firm picture in your mind’s eye and feel a bit of happiness at the thought of being there. It helps, believe me.
  • Get Out of the House : Get out and go places. Just the act of showing up at new places will lead to new connections and greatly reduce loneliness.
  • Get Help : It’s okay. Many people need a little therapy to help them realise the underlying psychological reasons for their loneliness, depression and anxiety. This is perfectly normal.
  • Take a Chill Pill : Nobody has it all figured out, believe me. Everyone pretends, everyone is lonely in one way or other. You are not alone. It is how it is supposed to be, so we might as well enjoy it. No one responsible for your happiness except you, yourself.

You have the power to offer loving kindness and generosity of spirit to all you come into contact with. It isn’t instinctual to be kind to strangers or people who scare you. But it is a choice. It is a choice that Jesus and Ghandi used intentionally. And in the long run it is a winning choice. The alternative, being mean or stingy with those you don’t know well, can get you a reputation as a Uncle Scrooge from Duck-tales.

Stay Happy and Be Happy Human!!!!

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Edward says:

    I try to keep myself busy but generally it’s tough. It’s hard to find connection in an individualized world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      Yes Edward. The longest relationship you will ever have in the history of your life is with yourself. Therefore, it’s up to you to labor over and cultivate the strength and depth of connection you have with yourself. Don’t think it will be easy, however. As psychologists Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz explain in their book “How To Be Your Own Best Friend“: When you decide to take care of yourself, to take charge of yourself, there is still a big job ahead. It takes thought and effort to shake free of bad habits. A part of you may well be quite indignant at the changes you’re trying to make. That part of you that is quite comfortable in the old ways and has no desire to see things or do things differently can put up quite a fight.

      Like

  2. Needed this right now.. Right post at right time. Thank you for posting…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      I am glad this post came to you at the right time. We can never be lonely because we have ourselves. We need to start enjoying our own company and be our best friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. petoilin says:

    The tip of going out to new places really helps. It doesn’t have to be anything meticulously planned but especially after a tiresome day it’s a huge help. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      Yes. Like any other cardiovascular exercise, brisk walking boosts endorphins, which can reduce stress hormones and alleviate mild depression. Regular exercise, through the production of feel-good endorphins, can improve mood and self-esteem.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. hmaxwell217 says:

    As an introvert, I embrace my alone time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      I understand that I think. I have started to like being alone in my own space 🙂

      Like

  5. I needed this Thank you!! I feel lonely at work many times and so that feeling easily translates into other parts of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Garima says:

      An academic study in 2011, by professors from California State University and Wharton School of Business, explained why workplace loneliness matters. After surveying a sample of 672 workers, Hakan Ozcelik and Sigal Barsade concluded that loneliness at work has a “significant influence on employee work performance, both in direct tasks, as well as employee team member and team role effectiveness rated by both the employee’s work unit members and supervisor”. Admitting to being lonely only made things worse, because the knowledge of another’s disaffection “provided stronger and more negative cues for the co-workers about the overall quality of their relationship with the employee”. Which makes them even lonelier. I hope my post is able to help you.

      Like

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