At some point in our lives, we may believe that love should be like the kind of romance we see portrayed in films, television, and novels. For some reason, I always thought my romantic relationships were less if I did not experience this kind of fairy-tale relationship. Maybe this is why I kept meeting frogs. At times, I bought into the belief that if I had a relationship with the perfect prince, then all would be well in my life. I thought, Now, I will be safe forever.
But then at some point I grew up and learned to let go of the crazy metaphor of romantic love in order to find true happiness. Yes, I was disappointed to realize that the knight riding through the night to save the damsel in distress is a fallacy. It’s a bummer. So what defines a great relationship anyways. Here’s my take on it main components which build a relationship but lets look at some basic definitions first.
What is Love? Love is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude towards a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
What is Lust? Lust is a feeling that is often mistaken for love at first sight. It is an intense and sudden attraction to somebody you hardly know. It is mistaken for love because the attraction is so strong.
Now to the components of a great relationship :
- Good Signs – You talk openly about life issues such as finances, children, things that frighten you, where you want your life to go. You can argue and come to some sort of compromise at the end of it. Better still you argue it proves that you have the ability to talk to each other. You are open and honest with each other about your feelings.
- Warning Signs – You only know their favourite colour, what paper they read. You are afraid to ask them in-depth questions about his life for fear of rejection or what you might find out. You don’t discuss how you are feeling with each other and it builds up inside you, often resenting each other. Neither of you is willing to forgive one another.
- Good Signs – In a crisis you stand by each other no matter what the result. You make sacrifices to make the other person happy. You are truthful and honest and don’t keep secrets from one another. You are emotionally, physically and mentally compatible. You are friends as well as lovers.
- Warning Signs – When the going gets tough, they get going. He has a wandering eye and had proved to be untrustworthy. He lies to you about where he has been and only confesses when you find out the truth. There is little physical affection, laughter, or communication between the two of you. He has been unfaithful on numerous occasions.
- Good Signs – You are ware of your partners faults and are able to accept some imperfections. You support and encourage each other’s individual interests and identity. You take the time to listen and understand the others point opinion.
- Warning Signs – You criticise each other in front of others. They will not give you space to indulge in your interests and wants to spend every minute of the day with you. You are constantly struggling to live up to his standards or the person you think they want you to be. You can’t forgive and/or forget each others mistakes.