Stop Taking Things Personally

Don’t take anything personally acts as a measure of presence in the here and now. Simply, when we are reactive we are not in the moment and when we are checked out, are susceptible to taking others actions as personal affronts. The bigger truth is nothing others do is because of us. It is their story of pain being projected based on distorted beliefs and limiting opinions. Miguel-Ruiz describes this as “poison” and if it is taken personally, you take that poison in and it becomes yours. When we assume this poison is true, it becomes our poison or baggage. However, when we are grounded and centered, can see the projection for what it is, we are far less vulnerable to others projections. Miguel-Ruiz describes this as immunity in the center of hell; it is the ‘gift’ of this agreement. 

Here are few steps which you can take to stop taking things personally 

  1. Realize that other people’s rudeness is not about you. When someone is rude it’s likely to be a reflection of their own issues.
  2. Ask yourself what else the comment or behaviour might mean. For example, if someone doesn’t smile or say hello, they might be shy.
  3. Take comments or criticism in a constructive way. Ask yourself if there’s any truth to it, and what you can learn.
  4. Take a different perspective. Ask yourself how an unbiased outsider would see the situation.
  5. Realize that you can’t please everyone.
  6. Know that you’re not defined by your mistakes or criticism.
  7. Realize that your self-worth depends on you. It does not depend on what others say about you. 

Living this agreement creates openness to say yes or no without guilt or criticism. Thus, you can be surrounded by the chaos of life and remain peaceful. Hope this helped. Leave me a comment. 


20 replies »

  1. Totally agreeable. Living in the present moment will only transform our circumstances into a positive experience. Your goal guidelines are definitively of a worthy value. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For Empaths, HSPS, and INFJs, this statement is parallel to saying stop breathing because you’ll die. It’s a natural part of who we are, and despite its annoyance, it does occasionally play in our favor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am not talking about physical detachment and avoiding people. Detachment, in the sense referred here, is an inner attitude of composure and equanimity, when you don’t take everything too personally, and don’t let other people’s emotions, thoughts or actions affect your judgement.


    • Imagine how free, relieved and happy you would be, if you could stay calm and poised in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Think how much physical, emotional and mental energy you could spare, if you were able to avoid becoming upset, angry or moody.

      Liked by 1 person

    • This happens to almost everybody, almost everyday. Just think, how many minutes, and often hours, you spend every day, dwelling on what this person said and that person did. If you take these incidents too personally you become unfocused and inefficient at work, at home, at everywhere else.We let people and circumstances control our life, if we let them affect our moods and state of mind.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Here’s something crazy to consider: even when things in life are serious, they can generally be handled better by not taking them so seriously. Wild. That’s not to say that there aren’t difficult problems that arise and will test your strength and patience, but regardless of what you’re up against, you need to take a deep breath. It’s time to let go of our need to cling to the dramatic woe is me vibe and just lighten up a bit. Easier said than done, of course, but practice makes a man perfect.


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